This is really interesting -- there are two paradigms here, and I think people are bumping up against each other and being confused because the etiquette doesn't match.

For me, LJ and Blogger are broadcast media; I put 'em out, anybody can read 'em, and anybody can respond. I have no control of what happens after they go out. Similarly, I read other people's LJs without assuming that creates any sort of bond between us.

If I want control, I use friendslock, and I use exclusive filter lists. The only time I use my generic friendslist is when I mean "I don't want this accessible to Google or to random people, but I don't consider it private." Serious stuff goes on "closefriends", who are the people I actually know.

For ita and Cindy (and many others, I see them on my friendslists), LJ is more like a party: you invite people, people show up and say "Is it okay if I join in?, and it's rude to show up unannounced.

Next on the gay agenda....

And slash writers everywhere rub their hands together and cackle.

The last quote in the HP-is-gay article is priceless:

"I didn't set out to offend. I'm a priest and I'm very careful about not offending people."

As we used to say on the Usenet, he owes me a new monitor.

How did that first day in Charms go? "Flick your wrist"?

I routinely read LJs that aren't on my list.

Another paradigm shift. I only read people who are on my friendslist, or are linked to from people on my friendslist. If I follow a link to an interesting posting, I immediately friend it.

People go on/off my friendslist based on whether I find their blogs stimulating.

On those "marzipan babies," here's the artist's website: [link]

I really like this one: [link] since it's such an Annabel look.

Next on the gay agenda....

I hope the updates will be posted in the gay lobby, or I'll never keep up.

you invite people, people show up and say "Is it okay if I join in?, and it's rude to show up unannounced.

You're putting words into my mouth.

I am eternally curious about my audience. For the provocateuse sites and for buffistas.org, I go through referrer logs once a month. This gives me information that guides any changes I may think useful for either site. Both sites are undeniably broadcast media, and my behaviour is typical for the webmaster role. True?

As for LJ, so you're not the sort of person who posts a "how did you get here?" meme. So far, neither have I. But you still seem attached to my flip and casual use of the word "should", or lend a lot more weight to the word "cool" than I think it can support.

I read other people's LJs without assuming that creates any sort of bond between us.

Well, except in the software, since you equate reading and friending so absolutely.

I want marzapan.

Another paradigm shift. I only read people who are on my friendslist, or are linked to from people on my friendslist. If I follow a link to an interesting posting, I immediately friend it.

How do you follow blogs?