When I have had conferences on the subject in the past it boils down to the teachers telling me I have to make the kid do his work. Not real helpful.

I am Laura.

I've been fortunate so far that Emmett is fairly diligent and conscientious about doing his homework. I think this is mostly due to two things which have nothing to do with me: (1) his school emphasized homework from grade one, though for the first two years it was really just to inculcate the habit of doing the homework; (2) his current aftercare sits all the kids down at 4pm and they spent 45 minutes doing homework, no exceptions. (The advantage of the aftercare being in University Village where UC houses all it's grad student families.)

His only real problem (which is a work problem for me as well) is that he zips through his work like a speed trial without enough attention to detail. It's something to get over, rather than do properly in many instances.

As for father/son dynamics, I know that Emmett's angry responses trigger similarly angry/aggressive responses in me that I have to sidestep. Not that often though - he's most likely to get upset when he's frustrated and that's easier to sympathize with.

His only real problem (which is a work problem for me as well) is that he zips through his work like a speed trial without enough attention to detail. It's something to get over, rather than do properly in many instances.

This is 99% of Ben's problem with school. There's nothing that's been introduced so far that's proven too challenging for him. But he is a naturally fast reader, and thinks that it is more important to read quickly than well. I'm trying to disabuse him of that notion, because when he does get stuff wrong on homework and tests, as often as not, it's because he didn't read the directions properly.

Cindy, I had similar problems as a kid. I was lucky and got a fair number of chances to do independent study projects. Might that sort of thing help Ben? Might his teachers go for such an idea?

Probably not this year. We're down to one class in his grade at our tiny, little school, and it's *the* teacher nobody would choose, were there choice.

Understand too, when I say "problems" that last year, he got all As and Bs. He's doing well. I just see him developing some of the bad habits I developed. I think independent study is something to keep in mind for the future though, because the deal seems to be that he knows he can do most things easily and quickly. He then treats everthing like that, and some stuff takes more time and attention to detail, even if it is not difficult.

At least I'm sort of at an advantage where he is concerned, because I so very much get where he is at, right now. My own mother didn't have the same weaknesses, so I was quite stealthy at developing the bad habits. My dad had them, but he was never too involved in my schoolwork/homework. He didn't finish high school, so to him, I was doing fine.

My Emily just came and bought me a coffee treat. I have the best Emily EVAH!

{{{Emily}}} I'm so sorry you had such a difficult weekend. Take care.

Pisses me off really because his tests are all A's. It is the 0's for assignments that bring down the grades.

This sounds so very familiar. {{{Laura}}}

They don't allow homework to count for grades in elementary school in this county.

If this had been the case in my school, I can guaranty, I would have never done homework and no amount of punishment from my mother would have convinced me; in fact it probably would have just made me more stubborn about not doing it. Good luck.

Livejournal is acting wonky for me. I hit the rich text option and it takes me back to the home page.

I think of *your* Mallory, and giggle at the image of him running for mayor

Hee! It's the first step on his way to King of the World.

I have the best Emily EVAH!

You do! Be good to her.

Robert and I are having a deep philosophical discussion about the effectiveness of having an internal moral compass (vs. following societal precepts). It's fun. It started off as a D&D discussion.

You do! Be good to her.

I'm trying. We're really taking turns these last few days. Kind of sucky week for both of us.