I made it through both of my classes, got lunch and am now at work with a BIG task. Hopefully I can focus enough to get it done.

edit: UGH. I have no idea what I'm doing. What have I gotten myself into?

I'm not pleased with the destruction part, but he will have to fix or replace what broke. I don't really think that I can tame 13 yo hormones instantly to prevent screaming and tossing chairs, but I hope that he will learn quickly that for his actions there are consequences.

can't stop them mid-rage that's for sure.

So if dentention - which from what I remember as a kid was boreing - sitting in a room either writting lines, doing homework or stareing at a wall - is the stick, where is the carrot? While I can't pretend to understand that homework doesn't count- I wonder if teachers could count it as extra points to add to a grade...doing 100% of you homework will add x to your test score ,90% x-1 , and 80% x-2.

that might have motived me, an a/b/c student - even more than homework counting as a general % of a grade.

I'm sure individual teachers have incentives, as do parents. It does count at the middle school level. When I have had conferences on the subject in the past it boils down to the teachers telling me I have to make the kid do his work. Not real helpful.

When I have had conferences on the subject in the past it boils down to the teachers telling me I have to make the kid do his work. Not real helpful.

I am Laura.

I've been fortunate so far that Emmett is fairly diligent and conscientious about doing his homework. I think this is mostly due to two things which have nothing to do with me: (1) his school emphasized homework from grade one, though for the first two years it was really just to inculcate the habit of doing the homework; (2) his current aftercare sits all the kids down at 4pm and they spent 45 minutes doing homework, no exceptions. (The advantage of the aftercare being in University Village where UC houses all it's grad student families.)

His only real problem (which is a work problem for me as well) is that he zips through his work like a speed trial without enough attention to detail. It's something to get over, rather than do properly in many instances.

As for father/son dynamics, I know that Emmett's angry responses trigger similarly angry/aggressive responses in me that I have to sidestep. Not that often though - he's most likely to get upset when he's frustrated and that's easier to sympathize with.

His only real problem (which is a work problem for me as well) is that he zips through his work like a speed trial without enough attention to detail. It's something to get over, rather than do properly in many instances.

This is 99% of Ben's problem with school. There's nothing that's been introduced so far that's proven too challenging for him. But he is a naturally fast reader, and thinks that it is more important to read quickly than well. I'm trying to disabuse him of that notion, because when he does get stuff wrong on homework and tests, as often as not, it's because he didn't read the directions properly.

Cindy, I had similar problems as a kid. I was lucky and got a fair number of chances to do independent study projects. Might that sort of thing help Ben? Might his teachers go for such an idea?

Probably not this year. We're down to one class in his grade at our tiny, little school, and it's *the* teacher nobody would choose, were there choice.

Understand too, when I say "problems" that last year, he got all As and Bs. He's doing well. I just see him developing some of the bad habits I developed. I think independent study is something to keep in mind for the future though, because the deal seems to be that he knows he can do most things easily and quickly. He then treats everthing like that, and some stuff takes more time and attention to detail, even if it is not difficult.

At least I'm sort of at an advantage where he is concerned, because I so very much get where he is at, right now. My own mother didn't have the same weaknesses, so I was quite stealthy at developing the bad habits. My dad had them, but he was never too involved in my schoolwork/homework. He didn't finish high school, so to him, I was doing fine.

My Emily just came and bought me a coffee treat. I have the best Emily EVAH!

{{{Emily}}} I'm so sorry you had such a difficult weekend. Take care.

Pisses me off really because his tests are all A's. It is the 0's for assignments that bring down the grades.

This sounds so very familiar. {{{Laura}}}

They don't allow homework to count for grades in elementary school in this county.

If this had been the case in my school, I can guaranty, I would have never done homework and no amount of punishment from my mother would have convinced me; in fact it probably would have just made me more stubborn about not doing it. Good luck.