Also, love that todger-man's name is "Yankow".

Nice bit of cause-effect there, especially now.

In news of me, I really really need the Exec VP to call me now! If he doesn't get back to me on this project in the next fifteen minutes, I won't be able to go to the gym today. Call me!

No sir, that's tough. He's a professional athlete. If he can play, he should be out there.

While I respectfully disagree with you on that one, I can't help but notice that my point about TOTALLY EFFED UP PRIORITIES remains unchallenged.

Also, people, for crying out loud, if you're falling apart for whatever reason at work on a Friday afternoon, TAKE A HALF SICK DAY!!!

Betsy, if you hadn't built up so much Betsy-capital over the years, I'd have trouble feeling warmly toward you, never mind sympathetic. You have massage chairs (!!!) AND dessert choices. I have dessert choices too, I suppose, if you consider Oreos or Goldfish a choice (never mind a dessert).

Just happened in my office:

new person filling in at Director level: (calls IT guy) I have this report you sent me and I can't get it to print out right.
IT guy: Well I am in the middle of running some things. can it wait?
Me: (to IT guy) I'll go help her
Me: (to new person): What is the problem?
New Person: (Show me printout rhat is not lined up correctly.)
Me: You need to change it to landscape. @@@@@@@@@@
New Person: REeeelllllly?!? That's it? Now where did you do that? I need to be carerful what I say in here if you overheard that phone call.
Me: ayup @@@@@@@
IT guy: THANK YOU!
Me: tossers who don't know basic computer stuff and think the IT dept is their personal help desk.

Dude, we are a start up, we are all doing like 8 things at once and NO ONE has the time to chat with you or come help you 5 times a day.

I don't feel warmly toward me, either. But it is Friday, so yea!

Mapquesty-type baffled befuddlement question:

A couple of weeks ago I found an alternate route from Chez Zmayhem to the Faire site down in Hollister, on a slightly twistier but much prettier and less trafficky freeway that runs parallel to the big depressing ugly one I'd been using before. I stupidly never checked the odometer during the drive, so I'm not sure exactly how different the actual mileage is (prolly longer, though the time is just about the same, as Pretty!Road is inexplicably much less crowded and much zippier than Ugly!Hag!Megafreeway).

I seem to recall that back in the dawn of time, Mapquest and Yahoo Maps would let you check alternate routes - they'd give you the straightest path between points A and B, then let you plot out an alternate if you wanted. And now I can't find that feature anywhere there or on any map site I go to. I just wanna find out how many miles it is from Zmayhem to Hollister by way of Pretty!Road, but no map or driving directions site seems to let me do it, and I can't hit on the right combination of search terms to get Google to help me either.

This is possibly the most trivial and stupid problem ever, but I'm in a mood to be disproportionately irritated by, well, everything. Any help would be so much appreciated.

Nutty, soccer players don't usually wear cups. The restriction of movement isn't worth the very occasional risk.

Right, which is why whenever you see male soccer players forming a defensive wall in front of a direct kick, the smart ones will all have their hands positioned directly in front of their groins.

No sir, that's tough. He's a professional athlete. If he can play, he should be out there.

While I respectfully disagree with you on that one, I can't help but notice that my point about TOTALLY EFFED UP PRIORITIES remains unchallenged.

If any part of my body has a three inch gash in it, never mind the genitals, which are loaded with (generally happy) nerve endings, I actually can't play. Anything.

Stands behind Sean.

I can't hit on the right combination of search terms to get Google to help me either.

I'm pretty sure you can't do that.