What are people doing for the weekend?

My bro and NEW! SiL are getting in town tomorrow afternoon for their second reception (aka Reception II: Electric Giftaloo).

[Since they got married in Vermont, not all the family could make it, and friends of the family weren't invited at all, b/c it would be churlish and grabby to invite friends of the family to another state for a wedding -- at least, that was their reasoning. So this weekend's shindig is so that the family who couldn't make it and all the friends of family can wish the happy couple well. And by "wish the happy couple well," I mean "present them with lots and lots of loot and/or cash."]

Anyway. I'm getting them at the airport tomorrow, and then the whirlwind starts. The actual shindig is on Sunday, but there's Lots To Do in the way of setting up and so forth, and my bro, mom, and I also plan to go to a church festival tomorrow night and gamble and drink cheap beer out of plastic cups. Because we are PURE CLASS.

Tonight I am staying home with chocolate and ibuprofen to deal with cramps of dooooom, and also practicing how to answer the nosy relatives who are sure to ask me on Sunday, "So? How about YOU? Is there anyone special in YOUR life???"

Like the answer is EVER any different.

I had expected to be grilled with nosy questions about my nonexistent love life at the wedding in Vermont, but nobody asked. Not one person. And then I realized why -- the only relatives who made it to Vermont were our cousins, and, being in the same generation, they understand that, If Steph Hasn't Brought Up Her Love Life, Then Don't Bloody Ask.

However, this weekend's shindig is many many many aunts and uncles, from both sides of the family, and they're nosy and tactless, and I know they're going to ask.

I can't decide whether to answer:

(a) "Why, yes, I *am* seeing someone -- SHE'S wonderful!"

(2) "Well, I guess you could call it a relationship -- using someone as your fucktoy 3 times a week is a relationship, right? -- but I would never bring him to a family gathering. I just use him for sex."

(iii) "The terms of my parole prevent me from dating."

Vote now! Vote now! Vote now!

But the important feature about datish type objects is that they have plausible deniability. Do not mess with the plausible deniability, for it is a rare and fragile thing.

This conversation confuses me. I'm not sure if it's the use of the word date, its use in relationship with ita, or the fact that I need more caffein, but it sounds like blah blah fluffy bunny blah blah kickboxing blah.

Can somebody remind me of the name of the Indian place in redwood City I need to pick up takeout from? Ta.

You know what's a good email to get? One that says

Subject: Birthday cakes

Today at 4:30 there will be cake in the kitchen. Thank you.

So some guy in our group has been longing secretly for me, and is looking at this as a chance to get to know me better?

I'm not sure any of the guys are even single, but ... it's not like facts are affecting this.

Redwood Monkeypants and Tandoori Palace.

(iii) "The terms of my parole prevent me from dating."

This. It was tough. They all have potential. But still. This.

People! You have opportunity to decide how I shock my family this weekend! Vote now!

t edit Cindy gets a gold star with sprinkles on top for stepping up and voting.

I vote rolling your eyes and walking away or telling them they are all "glib" a la crazy Tom Cruise.