So some guy in our group has been longing secretly for me, and is looking at this as a chance to get to know me better?

I'm not sure any of the guys are even single, but ... it's not like facts are affecting this.

Redwood Monkeypants and Tandoori Palace.

(iii) "The terms of my parole prevent me from dating."

This. It was tough. They all have potential. But still. This.

People! You have opportunity to decide how I shock my family this weekend! Vote now!

t edit Cindy gets a gold star with sprinkles on top for stepping up and voting.

I vote rolling your eyes and walking away or telling them they are all "glib" a la crazy Tom Cruise.

Steph, print up copies of that article you linked to -- hand them out with a wink and a knowing smile. Insert extra bounce into your step. Look dreamily off while people are talking to you, and shake your head and readjust yourself in your seat when you come back to earth.

You have to say it in the most refined way of course, too (well, that goes for any of them).

I used to try to remind myself that my older relatives had expectations, because of their era, and that they were trying to make conversation with and express and interest in me, so that I didn't go home angry and/or depressed.

The same question pissed off one of my sil's so badly, I swear it's why she moved away.

I'm going home now. later suckers.

I vote this:

(2) "Well, I guess you could call it a relationship -- using someone as your fucktoy 3 times a week is a relationship, right? -- but I would never bring him to a family gathering. I just use him for sex."

(iii) "The terms of my parole prevent me from dating."

I like this one. Or something about how the leader of the Evil Bunny Alliance has not yet revealed to you the details of your soon-to-be-arranged marriage.