then I discovered I'm losing my German in favor of Greek, so it went something like:

During my semester abroad, I discovered my brain preferred a bi -modal language system: english and OTHER. The unfortunate part is that my other encompassed, in decreasing amounts, german, french, spanish, czech and russian. And I never knew which I was using, nor which tense was popping out . Ich habe achete une buena voda s naranja.

I confused a lot of people.

Or something. My language skills have deteriorated a lot since then.

Lily's eyes are amazing.

shrift, what wonderful company!

I think it's a lot easier to up sticks and go to a job in another country than it would have been to move to another city in the UK where I didn't know anyone, and start over.

How come?

For me, at least, sometimes the "bigger" stuff is easier to do than the "smaller" things. Doing things in which I'm not expected to be on top of everything, so I can not-know and take-my-time and ask for help without anybody expecting me to know how to do things on my own - in a way it's easier than doing things that are similar to what I've done so far, so I'm somehow expected to be on top of everything and get smoothly and easily into the swing of things. Does that have anything to do with what you mean?

I would like to live so as to have a good answer just in case it does happen. Does that make any sense?

You mean, because it's for you, regardless of what waits "afterwards"? Good answer for its own sake, doing the right things for their being-right-ness?

I'm especially interested in the chance to do some international work

Why am I not surprised? It sounds fascinating, too.

I sometimes find myself wishing that I could learn, well, pretty much anything there is to learn on the face of the world. But then, I would never get any time left to actually try to do something, so I don't know.

Or, rather, I feel like -- I don't literally believe that there are pearly gates and Saint Peter and we have to defend the choices we made in our lives at the end, but I would like to live so as to have a good answer just in case it does happen. Does that make any sense?

Sure. I mean, I think I know what you're getting at, although I don't necessarily think of it that way myself. I remember my dad telling me that my grandfather--a devout Christian--had made peace long ago with the idea of a God who would judge him for his deeds, and that his lifetime of service to others had really had nothing to do with wanting to get into heaven, and had everything to do with wanting to do as much as he could for other people while he was here and had the chance to do it. I don't know if I'm explaining this very well, but that really struck me.

So for me, personally, what I want is to live the kind of life that I will be able to look back on at the end (hoping that I have that luxury) and think, I'm proud of the work that I did, because I did my best to help other people. In other words, God and St. Peter don't enter into it at all; the final judge of my life's work, as far as makes any difference to me, will be myself.

I've probably also been thinking about all of this a lot more lately because of my grandfather. Listening to everyone who spoke at his memorial service, friends and community members and church members and Habitat families, it really drove home the point that "all that matters is what we do".

I sometimes find myself wishing that I could learn, well, pretty much anything there is to learn on the face of the world. But then, I would never get any time left to actually try to do something, so I don't know.

Oh, thank you. I'm bitter about not being omniscient, but you've painted a clear picture of a downside, so I'm going to try to be more zen about it.

Despite aforementioned bitterness, I really don't want to go to krav tonight. I so need an attitude adjustment¹. It's just that ... it was going to be a day off. I only get the two. And because my exercise alarm clock didn't go off, I'll be running tomorrow, which means no days without exercise this week.

¹: It's instructor training for brown belt, which is going to be hard and painful and tiring and I've been kinda avoiding taking brown belt for at least a year.

(And thanks, I'll try to threadsuck and look. I love the billytea way of describing billytea adventures, so I think it's pretty safe to assume I'll enjoy this one, as well.)

See, you say that, but have I seen you in the Bitches board? No. No, I have not.

funny video

I can't afford my gasoline

which is ironic, considering that someone asked me to drive to Baltimore (an hour away) to take some students to a conference that has nothing to do with what I do. I was like 'you want me to spend half a tank of gas, in rush hour traffic and just sit around all day?"

I'll be running tomorrow, which means no days without exercise this week.

Isn't that Not Recommended? Or do you figure you do enough different things that parts of you are not working so hard every day?

I sometimes find myself wishing that I could learn, well, pretty much anything there is to learn on the face of the world. But then, I would never get any time left to actually try to do something, so I don't know.

Oh, thank you. I'm bitter about not being omniscient, but you've painted a clear picture of a downside, so I'm going to try to be more zen about it.

There's also:

Pepperpot 1: How would Dr. (Memfaulting) know?

Pepperpot 2: He knows everything.

Pepperpot 1: Ooh, I wouldn't like that - it would take all the mystery out of life.

t /Python

Isn't that Not Recommended? Or do you figure you do enough different things that parts of you are not working so hard every day?

The running is sufficiently different from the krav that I'm not worried about muscle groups or anything. I should rest, I know that, but I don't think this will break anything.

Ooh, I wouldn't like that - it would take all the mystery out of life

I was only planning to know the facts -- the mystery in life would be working out what to do with them.

what I want is to live the kind of life that I will be able to look back on at the end (hoping that I have that luxury) and think, I'm proud of the work that I did, because I did my best to help other people.

I think THAT's the same thing I'm trying to get at. I tend to want to bring in external judges/trust other people more than myself, but yeah, the goal is to live so that I am happy and proud at the end. I'm not sure I could say that now, if I got hit by a bus tomorrow.

(And I'm probably almost a third of the way through my life. Gyah. Need to work on this.)