There's always Versaille.

There is Versaille, among others. But there's no way to get to any of them until Friday.

mmm... airport porn....

In further "help me for my financial acumen, not to say my brain, has left me" news: I may have lost my wallet. Last seen paying for groceries last night at 6:30 pm. Could not be found this morning, nor now, after a pretty exhaustive search. But I was so tired last night that I could have put it away someplace weird, like with the frozen peas (though I checked there). Or the baby could have put it someplace weird. I called Kroger and the PetSmart next door and they don't have it. We called the bank and the credit card and there's no unusual activity. To cancel the cards and suffer hassles galore and risk the wallet turning up amongst the crackers tomorrow, or to wait and risk that someone is waiting a week to use my credit card?

You can always call to cancel later, and you're still not liable, I wouldn't think.

One Christmas break in college, I cancelled my credit cards TWICE. First my purse got locked in the closet at the home of someone I didn't know, but I did get it back. The next week, it actually got stolen from the bowling alley. @@

They sell porn in the SF airport. Not just mags either-- whole books!

They sell porn in the SF airport. Not just mags either-- whole books!

We're sophisticated like that.

t /San Francisco likes carrots that look like dildoes

I gotta go pack. I'll be back.

Please, read my brother's article, he's good.

ita, your boss is craxxxy.

See, this is why I hate phones:

Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology are developing software for cell phones that would analyze speech patterns and voice tones to rate people -- on a scale of 0 to 100 percent -- on how engaged they are in a conversation.

Anmol Madan, who led the project while he pursued a master's degree at MIT, sees the Jerk-O-Meter as a tool for improving relationships, not ending them. Or it might assist telephone sales and marketing efforts.

"Think of a situation where you could actually prevent an argument," he said. "Just having this device can make people more attentive because they know they're being monitored."

The program, which Madan said is nearing completion, uses mathematical algorithms to measure levels of stress and empathy in a person's voice. It also keeps track of how often someone is speaking.

"It's an academically proven thing," Madan said of the math behind those measurements. "There are a bunch of academic papers published about this."

For now, the Jerk-O-Meter is set up to monitor the user's end of the conversation. If his attention is straying, a message pops up on the phone that warns, "Don't be a jerk!" or "Be a little nicer now." A score closer to 100 percent would prompt, "Wow, you're a smooth talker."

However, the Jerk-O-Meter also could be set up to test the voice on the other end of the line. Then it could send the tester such reports as: "This person is acting like a jerk. Do you want to hang up?"

Damn this cable! It tells me that Alton is on at the same time as Blackadder! Now I need a second TiVo and approximately 43 splitters!