I knew immediately that I could trust ita, and liked her, before I ever met her at all. Same with Strega, and Polgara, Kristen, Tim, and some other folks I met online. And it's a relatively small number, considering how much time I've spent in internet communities.

So given Strega's post, is it just that the people I want in my tribe are especially good at getting themselves across with the written word? There's no body language, no real clue about race, class, socioeconomic status. I know little about Strega's family or upbringing or anything really, but she could come and stay with me. I'd trust she wouldn't Single White Female me.

I have a pattern of developing strong friendships with interesting, and devastating loyal people. Who also happen to be really fucking funny. And generous. And I tend to find that out after I've latched onto them like a baby koala.

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that "recognition" of someone who has the traits we're looking for. Even if we're not conscious that we're looking for them. It is not the only way people form lasting romantic pairs, and it's not a sign that you're destined to be together, but I think it's often more than just sexual attraction that got lucky.

I like the way Strega thinks too.

The very wrong book I like says:

There is an internal landscape, a geography of the soul; we search for its outlines all our lives.
Those who are lucky enough to find it ease like water over a stone, onto its fluid contours, and are home.
...
The shock of recognition had passed through my body like a powerful current. Just for a moment I had met my sort, another of my species.

It's the best description I have found.

So given Strega's post, is it just that the people I want in my tribe are especially good at getting themselves across with the written word?

To me, it is something else entirely. Something that comes across before or apart from the words. There are people that just fit. And people that don't. Nothing changes that for me.

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Yay me! Heh. I'll have to get that book back next time I see the friend I lent it to, because now it's really bugging me.

I think there are types it's easier to recognize online, because you do get a sense of how someone thinks from how they write. It reveals different things than body language, and some people are better at presenting an image, and some are better at interpreting it -- which is how you get the hoaxers, and the people who uncover them. But yeah, there are a lot of people I've never met that I'd happily give a spare key.

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I completely trust my immediate instincts when meeting people because they have served me well both in personal and business relationships.

This part of the equation so important:

If you've got a pattern of forming abusive relationships, you may have to override your instincts, and see feelings of attraction as a danger sign until you learn to look for a different set of traits in other people.

How I wish some of my dear friends would figure this out. It breaks my heart when I see my friends making the same mistake repeatedly. My GF has a strong attraction to a particular male type that just never ends up well. She knows it and tries to find the exception knowing full well it ain't gonna happen. She claims to be unable to find or be attracted to the good guys that I have had in my life. We debate this all the time.

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Hi, Buffistas, skipped like a MoFo, since I am sitting in the green green hills in southwestern Massachussetts in my best friend's GLORIOUS house. She has dial-up, though, so I won't be around here much untl next week.

Off to go sit on the porch and look at purty nature.

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I am jealous of Robin now. It's going to be 98 degrees here today, so I would have gone to the beach, but it's my one chance to see an old friend who lives in France now. I think a movie after lunch, though.

Edit: And in light of the conversation about first impressions and whatnot, I just got the "Lie To Me" quote:

Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.

I agree that immediate impressions upon meeting are sometimes true, but not always.

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It is disgusting outside.

I left my keys at work (I think, I hope) and had to stay over with my brother last night, which is not so bad, but what a loser for leaving my keys. Got into my place this morning with the super's key.

Today is brunch downtown, then shopping in Queens and then hopefully lounging at home and knitting.

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Has anyone had trouble buying cold medicine with pseudoephedrine lately? While at my sister's in Indiana this week, Owen got a cold. So I sent my sister to Wal-mart to get the children's cold medicine my ped recommended. I asked her to get two bottles--one night time, one daytime formula and she was DENIED her purchase. They said she could only buy one bottle at a time due to the fact that they both contained pseudoephedrine.

I've been trying to look up to see if this is an Indiana law or just a Wal-mart rule. It it seems to me that the limit is set ridiculously low, no matter whose rule it is. I'm all for preventing some meth addict from cooking up a batch next door but when you're making life difficult for people with sick toddlers, that's enough to piss me off.

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I've heard some stories about that, although it hasn't happened to me yet.

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I've always purchased two packages of cold medicine at a time--I usually get a non-drowsy for day and a kick-the-cold-in-the-ass version for night time. This just completely gobsmacked me.

Thankfully, my mother was shopping there at the same time as my sister, so she bought the other bottle for me and Owen and the crisis was averted. But I'm still confused as to the extremely low limit.

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