Ahhh, here comes the rain in downtown. Thunder, lightening...... I dig thunderstorms.

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Me too. We're all clustered around the windows.

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For example, I am for parental notification. I will not support the government removing my right (and responsibility) to parent, and to see to the medical care of my child, because some parents abuse their children, and because when some minors say, "My parents will kill me," what they mean is, "My parents will restrict my freedoms, and will not be happy, and will be disappointed and talk to me, and I am afraid and ashamed."

Is parental notification worth it to you, knowing that there are real life examples, post-Roe, of children in non-abusive middle-class families taking matters into their own hands and dying as a result?

I don't think the government should interfere with my parenting. They can stay right the fuck out of my choices, thank you kindly.

I also don't want, should my child for some reason wind up pregnant at 16, to have her die because she was afraid to tell me she'd screwed up.

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Gloom, Chapel Hill/Carrboro and Durham are very progressive, queer-friendly and dykeful. Raleigh is much, much less so -- it's much more of a good-ol-boy, red-state kind of town.

People tend to either love or hate the enclave-y-ness of the more liberal spots in the triangle; but we'd certainly love to have you here.

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GC, the whole rural/urban divide mentioned upthread applies to being gay in NC. In a fair bit of Durham, and most of Chapel Hill/Carrboro, it's probably ok. Although around 8 years ago a gay friend I practiced aikido with had "dyke" scratched into her car's paint while it was in a McDonald's parking lot in Chapel Hill. So it's definitely not asshat free. Raleigh may be a bit more conservative--I haven't lived there for over 10 years.

My downstairs neighbors drive around with a pink triangle and rainbow thingies on their car's bumper sticker and are clearly a gay couple. They don't seem to be having any hassles. My doctor is a woman who has lived with her life partner in Durham for decades, and they seem pretty happy here. To my knowledge, they have no plans to move. (Selfishly, I hope they won't. Dr. E is my most favorite doctor ever. And if you do move here and want a doctor recommendation, let me know.)

Would my neighbors feel safe driving their car two counties east of us? Or in the county directly to my south that rumor has it has regular Klan meetings? I don't know. And we did have probably-Klan related cross burnings a month or so ago here in Durham, so we definitely still have things to deal with.

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CG, I live in the NC triangle. I think in terms of gay friendliness, I would rank Carrboro/Chapel Hill first, then Durham, then Raleigh. I think I would be comfortable living in Raleigh as a gay woman, though NC State has more conservative students than UNC. It is possible to live in the Triangle and know almost nobody who is even from NC. My neighborhood, my coworkers, are almost entirely academic or high-tech liberals, largely from outside the south. I don't find them different from people I'd know in DC or Philly or New Haven.

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Is parental notification worth it to you, knowing that there are real life examples, post-Roe, of children in non-abusive middle-class families taking matters into their own hands and dying as a result?

Yeah, that's the problem. It's not just about bad parents. It's about good kids who don't want to disappoint their good parents.

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Aaaand the NCistas have clearly developed our hivemind capabilities. Soon we will also all be librarians. Keep this in mind if you move here, GC.

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I'm not sure how I feel about parental notification. On the one hand, I understand the argument that someone who can't get her ears pierced without parental consent probably shouldn't be having surgery on her own. And I can think of situations a (non-abusive) parent should probably be aware of regardless of the girl's desires, like if the girl is 14 or younger, if her boyfriend is significantly older, or if she was raped.

But I don't believe girls should die because they're afraid to talk to a parent. And I think that much of the time, if a girl doesn't feel she can talk to her parents about sexuality, there's a reason beyond "they'll lecture me."

I would hope that if I had a daughter, she would feel she could talk to me about any need for contraception and abortion. If I fail in that, I would rather she had an abortion without my knowledge than any of the other options.

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I completely understand your wanting parental notification (for one thing, it is a medical procedure), but what about the cases where the child's fear of abuse/retribution is founded? Should a claim of "my parents will kill me!" automatically be investigated in those cases? (I'd think that at least examining the kid for signs of abuse would be called for in that case.)

Yes, at least any credible claim. That is a police and [whatever state department of families and children] issue. When my children are already 18, but still in high school, they are not allowed to take a Tylenol at the nurses office, without my consent. They are not allowed to have any other non-emergency surgical procedures without my informed consent. I think the requirement should only mandate that one custodial parent be told, though.

Is parental notification worth it to you, knowing that there are real life examples, post-Roe, of children in non-abusive middle-class families taking matters into their own hands and dying as a result?

Yes, because there have been cases like that, even where abortion is legal and accessible, and parental notification wasn't an issue.

If my minor daughter conceived and was going to abort, I would need to know that, in order to properly parent her. Now, personally, I would not force my child to either have a child, or have an abortion (exception: If her life were at stake in carrying a child to term, I might insist she abort). But she would need me. She would possibly/probably be scared to death to tell me, but she would actually need, and benefit from my parenting. And if she chose to abort, she would need me to know, so that if there were a post-surgical complication, she wouldn't be hiding up in her room, bleeding to death, or going into sepsis, because she was to ashamed to tell me. And she would need the emotional support, as well. Not to mention, women die from legal, medical abortions sometimes, too.

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