[link] The Madison, for when gothic tragedy will immediately follow your wedding, and you want to be prepared.

Before they will sell you The Madison, you have to certify that you're actually getting married on a rocky coastline.

Although so long as you can prove that you'll be driving away from the wedding in a topless MG, they'll sell you the dress without the veil.

That's right! I liked the Arden! I liked the Brie as well, but only if they could guarantee that it wouldn't make me look like Joan Rivers.

[link]

The "Titanic II" isn't actually that bad. Except, you know, for the unfortunate imagery that comes with the name. "If you thought the first disaster was bad, wait till you get to this wedding! Life jackets optional."

The Vivian, for when you forgot to buy a skirt, but you have a handy duvet lying around.

Hee!

The Madison, for when gothic tragedy will immediately follow your wedding, and you want to be prepared.

OMG, I think I need to to make myself a hooded cape out of black tulle. Or black silk chiffon.

This is a bestselling bridal gown?! (See: Petra. In either color.)

Oh, but I forgot: [link] The Caroline, for when you want your wedding to also serve as advertisement for the brothel you run.

I look at that picture, and all I can think is "Someone forgot to blend their 'pale & mysterious' makeup at the jawline."

I kind of like the Petra! Though only if the jewelry comes with it. I'd feel like an exotic foreign princess.

A princess, I tell you! A prrriiiiiiincesssss! twirling, twirling

I may need to go home now.

Really, is there such a thing as a TOO slutty cowgirl?

Empirically? No. For a friend's church wedding? Perhaps.