I have begun calling this wedding "The 5 Star Wedding of Snoot".

And gods I hope I wasn't this much of a bitca when I got married. I was happy to have any shower and even made food for the one Bride gave me! And I don't resent it, I wanted to. But shit.

And what even galls me even more, is that 3 of us invited to the thing are tenants and each of us have had, in recent history, trouble making rent. And to Bride, she just doesn't get it, I don't think. Hell, I owe her $400 from when we fucked up with the Windstar and I just think she has no freaking clue that sometimes, people can't afford to eat out.

Aimee, you're a saint and I hope by at least skipping most of this fiasco will spare your sanity. I'd make sure by at least the end of the wedding, you make sure this woman knows what you think of her.

I'd be tempted at this point to give up the general "people" line and bust right out with, "Let me be frank here. I cannot afford the restaurant you've selected, as I couldn't afford the spa before. My family is paying for two wedding party outfits, three tickets to another part of the country, whatever expenses are racked up while staying there, and whatever gifts we can manage to squeeze out of our bank account to show how much we love and appreciate B. I refuse to put myself, my husband, and my very small baby any further into debt to appease your class insecurity and insensitivity to other people. I'll be seeing you at the wedding but, it appears, not before and, if God is good, never again. Many hugs and kisses, Aimee kthxbai."

And I don't resent it, I wanted to. But shit.

You don't have to. She needs the validation; you didn't. I guarantee that your shower was more fun, more memorable, and less stress-inducing than hers is.

This is what really caused my jaw to hit the floor.

Yeah, that's such a shitty thing to say. Credit cards don't make anything more affordable, for fuck's sake. The money's still got to come from somewhere.

Punch her, Aims. Punch her a lot. Also {{Aims}} for the stress.

Also, "By the time this whole fiasco is over, some bridesmaids and several guests will actively resent at least the situation and possibly the bride. And it's ALL YOUR FAULT YOU WICKED HARPY. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW??" Wait. Is this the MiL-to-be? Maybe she's doing it on purpose!

I totally kid. I'd probably be all "Okay sure whatever you want, bye" and then seethe for ten years or so, then run into the bride at some other thing and have her ask why I was so tense at the wedding and explode. The sane path lies somewhere in between these two strategies.

t copies Emily's email into yahoo

t hands shakes over the "Send" button

Too hilarious for words: [link]

Yes, no police officer is safe from the Evil Sexual Temptress.

Oh, and Aimee, I hate the MOH a lot. "That's what credit cards are for", indeed. I'm surprised she didn't suggest you die and decrease the surplus population.