Aimee, if you really feel like you need to attend, I think the best thing you can do is make sure you've made your feelings known to MoH. Your email was perfect.

Oh, Aimee, good grief. This is getting ridiculous. Actually, it's past ridiculous. You're a saint to continue dealing with it.

I have managed to clean my room this morning. And the office area is basically done. I feel very proud of myself about this. Both have been an uncontrolable mess for far too long now. They look all nice. I just need to finish dusting and sweeping the office area, and I can call it a day. Wheee!

I'm going, I'm driving people there and then I'm coming home. I'm not going to dinner and I'm not staying the night. I've already begun hating this woman (that I've never met) and quite frankly, I don't feel like being crammed into a crowded hotel room that I have to be sneaky about and I don't feel like forgoing my daughter for the night in favor of this giant cunt douchebag bitch from fucking hell.

I had a dream the other night that I went off on Bride about all of this.

(We left the invites open so people can each manage their own experience.)And if all else fails,this is why God invented credit cards. :)

This is what really caused my jaw to hit the floor.

Aimee, many sympathies. You should not have to be in this position. Which means MoH should not have put you there.

This is why I don't want a shower. The only thing I want is for my BMs to have fun and celebrate "The Wedding That Destroyed the Universe" (tm) with me. They're already spending plenty of money, and I want to give back to them, at least a little bit.

I have begun calling this wedding "The 5 Star Wedding of Snoot".

And gods I hope I wasn't this much of a bitca when I got married. I was happy to have any shower and even made food for the one Bride gave me! And I don't resent it, I wanted to. But shit.

And what even galls me even more, is that 3 of us invited to the thing are tenants and each of us have had, in recent history, trouble making rent. And to Bride, she just doesn't get it, I don't think. Hell, I owe her $400 from when we fucked up with the Windstar and I just think she has no freaking clue that sometimes, people can't afford to eat out.

Aimee, you're a saint and I hope by at least skipping most of this fiasco will spare your sanity. I'd make sure by at least the end of the wedding, you make sure this woman knows what you think of her.

I'd be tempted at this point to give up the general "people" line and bust right out with, "Let me be frank here. I cannot afford the restaurant you've selected, as I couldn't afford the spa before. My family is paying for two wedding party outfits, three tickets to another part of the country, whatever expenses are racked up while staying there, and whatever gifts we can manage to squeeze out of our bank account to show how much we love and appreciate B. I refuse to put myself, my husband, and my very small baby any further into debt to appease your class insecurity and insensitivity to other people. I'll be seeing you at the wedding but, it appears, not before and, if God is good, never again. Many hugs and kisses, Aimee kthxbai."

And I don't resent it, I wanted to. But shit.

You don't have to. She needs the validation; you didn't. I guarantee that your shower was more fun, more memorable, and less stress-inducing than hers is.