What size ants, Smittea?

The little black ones. I laid out some ant death last week (not boric acid), without result. I've put out new ant death, this one boric in nature. I suspect there are some surfaces that could be cleaner, too.

I suspect there are some surfaces that could be cleaner, too.

In an apartment shared by two bachelors? Perish the thought.

In an apartment shared by two bachelors? Perish the thought.

Defies logic, doesn't it? We're pretty clean, on the whole, but yeah.

Nah, the IM machine's in the basement right now, and I haven't installed a good client on this one, partly because I normally don't have the typing speed to keep up an IM convo with the bebe in arms.

Email's good, though. You still have my hotmail address? (It's mohmlet, like so many other things.)

Happy Birthday FAY!!!

(Sorry I didn't say it yesterday)

So...male hospital personnel are bad? Because of their bossy unnatural birthing techniques?

Seems like that the feeling on many of the pregnancy boards. I have to say that I don't care one way or the other, as I had a real asshole bitca of a woman in the States as my midwife and would've wanted to trade her for one of the male doctors had I stayed.

And here, the female doctors wear standard lab coats, but the male doctors wear those scary dentisty jackets that fasten up the back...and most of them don't wear anything under them and don't get them fastened all the way, so all their love handles and back hair sticks out and ewww.

Plus, given that Greek men kiss women on each cheek as a greeting, I wasn't terribly comfy with the idea of always getting kissed by my ob/gyn. (Unless he was OB/GYN Kenobi...) There are some folks who would say that after the doctor does those things to you, you should at least get a kiss, but nah, I like my boundaries where they are.

So...male hospital personnel are bad? Because of their bossy unnatural birthing techniques?

Well, personally, I didn't want a bunch of dudes telling me what to do, not unless said dudes, at some point, had had a cooter. But, the argument's not as simple as that, is more about OB care in general than about the gender of your OB, and there's more than just a hint of merit to it, especially, it seems, in smaller towns and smaller hospitals. Attitudes get entrenched, women aren't listened to, and things are complicated without reason on a regular basis.

My mother, my aunt, and at least one cousin have all worked L&D, and I've heard good and bad from them. It depends on the doctor and the hospital. My mother loved her (male) OB down here, and had an unmedicated VBAC with my brother back in '76, and the medical group she sees was doing rooming in long before most other area hospitals. But then, she's a nurse. She knew how to be her own advocate, and her doctors trusted her to do what they thought was right because of her training. (As a side note, I find that funny, because the fact that she's a total workaholic who would skip meals and sleep and generally not take care of herself because they needed her in the OR is probably why I was a low-birthweight baby. Suppose I can't blame the section on that, as it was PROM followed by failed attempts at inductions.)

(I know it sounds like I'm bitter, but I'm really not. I have no lasting effects, had a pristine, unmolded head, and was really cute sleeping in the doll furniture. But really, you do think a nurse with a history of pregnancy loss would be the FIRST person to take it easy. I roll my eyes in her general direction. Which I think is Toronto at the moment.)

My MiL had inductions scheduled around her OB's vacation plans, and didn't get much say in the matter. And yes, she's a little bitter about that.

Most women in our parents' generation didn't have a fair shot at a good breastfeeding relationship, or any breastfeeding relationship, because of hospital policies that separated babies from their mothers and fed formula on schedules and then told the women they weren't producing enough milk. There are still hospitals in this country with that sort of policy, even with everything we now know about how BF works, about the import of demand feeding to establish supply--everything. Hell, even in a hospital that's aiming for baby-friendly certification (http://www.babyfriendlyusa.org/), brought to you by those freak-ass hippies at UNICEF and WHO, I had one nurse offer me formula when it was 3am and I had a baby who Wouldn't. Freaking. Sleep. (It wasn't used. I finally let her sleep in the bed with me instead of trying to put her in the babybox. Yes, on the second night, I learned why they want to show you the safe way to sleep with the baby physically in the bed, despite it being against official policy.)

Ugh. Not going to lecture about the state of BF support and education in the US (and, it seems, UK, which has nearly as bad a rep as the US). Because that heads me into rantland, and is as easily summed up by, "Dude, you want to increase BF rates, don't just give lip service to support." This country seems to thrive on making it hard to do what's natural at times.

I have been known to get a little passionate on the subject...

I chose a medicalized path when the stick showed two lines, in part because of my previous losses, in part because, to be honest, I'm not one of those people who knows or trusts her body, and I was more comfortable in that environment. Also, I know the lingo, and could sanity check with family if I thought the advice was funky.

Midwives and homebirths were not for me*, even before my body went haywire on me, but they're a safe (studies consistantly show them to be as safe--and yes, these studies are controlled for high risk--as hospital deliveries) option for a normal, low-risk pregnancy. It shouldn't be discussed as an either/or, all intervention or all non-intervention, but people get defensive about it, (continued...)

( continues...) especially the women who didn't learn how to advocate for themselves until after they'd had a horrific experience, and who don't want anyone else to go through what they did and the midwives who've faced an uphill battle just to be able to practice, even with an assload of data on their side.

So as frustrated as I get when I see the aggro 'tudes, especially when I'm looking for advice and not a lecture I don't need because I've already considered X, Y, and Z thank you kindly, I understand where the 'tude is coming from.

* House too small; no interest in cleaning up in prep or post; house doesn't have whirlpool tub.

Heh.

Err. Yeah. That was longer than expected.

Happy FAY DAY!

It's like MAY DAY!

We will dance around you with pretty ribbons and SNOG!

especially, it seems, in smaller towns and smaller hospitals

Well, I have to say that I got much MUCH better pre-natal and L&D care here, in a country that's substantially far behind the US in terms of GDP, than I would have in my home town in the States.

But it's money at the root of it all, isn't it? There's no reason for a top-notch doctor to head to my hometown. In fact, it's primarily going to be the folks who graduated last in their class from med school. Heck, my doctor when I lived there was a large animal vet, because she was more competent than the actual doctors.

And I wouldn't have gotten the care I did here without having an insurance carrier that paid for the best care in the nation.

Also, do you have any update on Toto? I saw that he didn't have Cushings (yeah!), but not how things were going since then.

He's doing ok. We've decided to just wait it out before running any more tests. He seems to be doing better, so our latest guess is a really bad virus. But, he's got more energy and spunk again and hasn't had an accident in over a week, so I think that's probably a good guess.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FAY!!!

Also, so sorry for the travel plans mess. What a nightmare!

I have no experience with L&D, but I will say that my favorite OB/GYN was the doctor that delivered me. Of course, he's retired now and lives in the Chicago area, so he won't be delivering any of my babies, but he really was wonderful.