Aimee, tell her you don't have it. If people want your money, they need to involve you in the planning, so that you can have some input, and give an idea of what you can and can't afford.

We had to do this with dh's siblings (some of), for their parents upcoming 50th anniversary. One sibling booked a reception hall, before even approaching most of the rest about "hey, how can we celebrate the folks' anniversary." We're giving them money, but significantly less than the [huge amount we couldn't save in that time] amount for which sibling asked. Sibling is dealing. Sibling has to. You can't squeeze blood from a stone. Sibling should have talked it all over with everyone first, before putting down a downpayment on a hall, for a party most of the rest of us knew nothing about. Oooops. /my issues.

Seriously. You don't have it. Tell her. It'll be over.

She can just cram it up her yuppie, poseur ass, but then she's not my friend and I'm broke, too. So I've got it like that.

The MoH really isn't my friend, either.

I emailed her and told her I can't do it, maybe we should cancel the cabana. I'm NOT looking forward to this shower and I'm really starting to NOT look forward to the wedding. I feel my BF and I drifting far far far apart and I feel like I'm the one paddling away from our friendship. I think differently than she does and other things are more important to me than they are to her and I just want to cry because I feel like I don't want to be her friend anymore.

That's sad, Aimee. But it happened to me this year, too.

I'm NOT looking forward to this shower and I'm really starting to NOT look forward to the wedding. I feel my BF and I drifting far far far apart and I feel like I'm the one paddling away from our friendship. I think differently than she does and other things are more important to me than they are to her and I just want to cry because I feel like I don't want to be her friend anymore.

Oh, I know this feeling. I'm avoiding a phone call right now because of it, and it's fucking great! it fucking sucks.

I feel my BF and I drifting far far far apart and I feel like I'm the one paddling away from our friendship.

That's a sad feeling. I've been there myself, and even when you know you've both just grown apart there's all the good stuff from the past saying, "Hey, come back!"

Oh Aimee, that's so hard. I'm so sorry.

I feel my BF and I drifting far far far apart and I feel like I'm the one paddling away from our friendship. I think differently than she does and other things are more important to me than they are to her and I just want to cry because I feel like I don't want to be her friend anymore.

Is this something that may be better mulled over once sleep has been obtained? Not that I am belittling your pain, but I know in my experience things just seem so overwhelmingly awful if I haven't gotten sleep. And, as a non-parent, I *know* I haven't experienced sleeplessness like y'all have experienced sleeplessness.

Is this the BF that lives in LA and is also your landlord? (I'm just trying to place her in my mind)

Aimée, it's always so sad to hear about friends drifting apart. But there are a couple of reasons to wait before you make any decisions. First, you're really tired right now. Second, weddings and any crisis around a wedding are not real life. Get through all of this as well as you can, and then give her a chance to be your friend again when her world extends beyond her wedding.

Oh, Aimee, that's sad. But also, Sparky is very wise.

{{{Em}}} Poor little thing.

But there are a couple of reasons to wait before you make any decisions. First, you're really tired right now. Second, weddings and any crisis around a wedding are not real life. Get through all of this as well as you can, and then give her a chance to be your friend again when her world extends beyond her wedding.

Yeah! This. Man, I'm glad you people are around to do my thinking for me.