Thanks, Jilli.

It's just hard when DH is as stressed about money as I am, maybe even more so, and I'm already trying my damnedest to fix the problem. (And no, he's not blaming me--I just feel like the whole situation is my fault because, well, it was my poor judgment WRT my ability to make a go of freelancing that got us here.) And here it is the middle of August, and I figure the time between now and Labor Day is second only to the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas as the hardest time to search for a job. And dammit, I'm trying to fix the fucking problem, so it drives me crazy that it won't fucking get fixed.

Add in everything else. My dad, most of all, of course. But there's all kind of little things. DH is expecting a check from some freelancing he did nearly a month ago that would temporarily solve the money woes if it would only get here, but no such luck. We both need new shoes. Basic, everyday shoes. But we're waiting for that check, which they assured him was going out over a week ago. My critique group is kerfuffling. I'm worn out because Annabel is cutting canine teeth and keeps waking up in the night--I haven't had an uninterrupted night of sleep in over a week now.

If I could just find a damn job, so much of this would go away.

ETA--And I hate it when we're both so depressed, because it's hard to encourage someone else when everything around you looks so bleak.

Remind me to stop bitching here.

Dad is back in the hospital. When/if he gets out, Mom is planning to put him in a nursing home, because she's just not up to caring for him at home anymore.

It's strange. On the one hand, this all seems so sudden, since when we saw Dad last summer and at Thanksgiving, there was no indication of this, and he'd gone so long without a major health scare that I was really hoping he might live another 5-10 years. But now that we are where we are, it feels like it's all so excruciatingly, horribly slow, and I just hate to think of Dad being in the world in pain, and without the sharp mind and enthusiasm for life that made him who he was.

{{{{Susan, Dylan, and Annabel, canines and all}}}}

Don't worry or beat yourself up about venting. You need someplace to let it out before it chews you all up. That's a big toxic load of stress and sorrow weighing you down, and you have every right to set it down every now and then and kick at it.

ION, one of the people at the hat store on Valencia Street explained to me how to steam and shape felt, and now I'm seriously mulling over giving it a try and maybe trying to sell the results on eBay, if they don't suck.

Animals Have Problems Too

Mahvellous! And poor thing.

I am in Canberra. Later there shall be a party to celebrate the aging process in the form of my nephew. It's all good.

Punctuation to Susan W. I suspect from the entire Buffista hivemind.

On the lighter side for anyone who needs a quick "heh" :

[link]

An Episcopalian church desided to send copies of it's current fiancial balance to the entire congregation via email. Unfortunately they forgot to change Quickbooks default message in the header - so every congregation member got the balance sheet accompanied by the statement: "Dear Customer. You have an outsdanding bill. Please remit."

This is such a hard time Susan. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Ugh. I had sucked a few hundred posts, then while I was scanning I clicked where I didn't mean to click and closed the tab. Stupid watching tv while posting.

And now I don't remember what I had to say. Blah.

I wish I had some real advice , Susan.

I told DH that I felt like I was storming a well-defended city--pushing, and pushing, and pushing, and not getting anywhere for all the pointy and explody and generally hurty things life is throwing at me. He says he feels more like a besieged city.

Susan, I wish I had something useful or insightful or anything for you right now. My thoughts are with you.

Sadly, I have felt both like Susan and her DH - at the same time. Usally for the same thing- a willingness to chage things but no acceptance from the outside world that this is what is going on. It will happen .