Shoooooes. Whimper. I want the red-and-black Pavadita.

{{{Cashmere & Owen}}}

sj, these are your friends. I think that if you tell them exactly what you wrote above, they will understand and be supportive. They don't get that chance if you hide from them. Anything we can do to help make this easier?

Thanks. No, there is nothing really that anyone can do. I'm just getting sick of dreading going out on Fridays. This is not the first time that this kind of thing has happend.

Weird thing, I woke up a little while ago from a nap, and made preparations for taking a shower. Harvey got up on the sink and meowed in his almost-shrillest meow until I picked him up, hugged him, and carried him downstairs. He quit meowing when we got into the living room, and even though I have not fed him, I did feed myself since I was down here.

Hmm.

Ok, I'ma go try to take a shower again.

Hey. I think the end of the world may be upon us. I just read poems by somebody who calls himself a professional optimist and they didn't make me gag. Maybe I should write him back and say "amateur pessimist". I've thought about going pro, but my knees are fucked up.

Ok, I'ma go try to take a shower again.

Sure. Tease me at work.

Or not. He's on my lap now.

Ah, perhaps he wishes to send extra-strength~ma to Toto and vw.

Or maybe he wants to say, sj, if you don't enjoy these Friday night outings, perhaps it is time to re-think them. Friends who say negative things when you are already dealing with depression, they are not very helpful.

Cold with sore throat. We're drowning in a river of snot here. The boy's getting Triaminic and I'm dosing myself with Tylenol Sore Throat.

Oh, no. I hope it eases off, soon.

You all have ruined me for everything. I can't even do mail at work without laughing at something. My Big!Boss got something from FCM. I'm just trying to imagine this 60-year-old director of the school/social worker playing some sort of mail-related Fuck, Chuck or Marry.

I'm ruined. Completely ruined.

I need those shoes....

sj, maybe it is time to stop doing every friday as an expected thing? Sometimes the expectations of a friendship - the we always do this - get in the way of appriciating ( I tried to spell that word three ways) the friendship. Friends aren't supposed tobe mean - sometimes they are frank, but it isn't supposed to be mean. Now maybe you are 'oversensative' ( whatever that means ) but I am guessing that is the way you have always been. Or it is a sign that your depression is getting worse. Either way your friends should know. None of this helps with tonight, but maybe it is something to think about. Or I could be makeing stuff up so I can ignore my list.

Fun, huh?