Jayne ,'Jaynestown'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
headdesk
Helllloooo unpaid and unexpected overtime.
Client from Hell shall be fed to the komodo dragon at the zoo. I hear it's a nice painful death and if they're going to get a bad rap, might as well get a nice meal out the deal.
Unless there is something that kills particularly painfully at the Wild Animal Park. Anyone? billytea? Bueller?
BTW Fay - is this Yorkshire dialect with "Tha" and all that something you actually speak on occassion. Or just something you hear on occassion. Cause if you can do it authentically I'd love to see a paragraph in Yorkshire Dialect. As an American I've never in my life encountered it face to face, and pretty seldom in literature.
Komodo dragon is actually pretty painful. In extreme cases they poison their prey (not with venom but with bacterial infections) and then follow them around until they die of the infection. Usually they are not that patient and just eat ther prey alive.
I'm hoping for the painful post-bite infection-y death for her. Whilst being stalked by the dragon for added amusement.
The one at the zoo is cute lumbering around but I think he needs some live prey. And I have a list.
disclaimer: I'm usually not so cruel. At least I don't usually admit it.
Komodo dragon is actually pretty painful. In extreme cases they poison their prey (not with venom but with bacterial infections) and then follow them around until they die of the infection. Usually they are not that patient and just eat ther prey alive.
Yup. Their teeth actually contain tiny serrations which facilitate getting rotting meat stuck in there, providing a better haven for growing a toxic soup of bacteria. However, note that the dragon at San Diego Zoo (for whom I have a serious soft spot) won't be poisoning anyone. Zoo dragons are subjected to much better oral hygiene than they'd practise in the wild.
What can I feed her to then?
(I am glad to hear that the zoo dragon is brusha brusha brushaing. Though I am distressed to earworm myself with music from Grease.)
Blearg. Still feeling miserable. Stupid cold. Just a cold should not knock me out this badly.
(I am glad to hear that the zoo dragon is brusha brusha brushaing. Though I am distressed to earworm myself with music from Grease.)
Think yourself lucky, you just earwormed me with The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
If you want a toxic death, I'd suggest Russell's viper, for all your ROTFBFEO (rolling on the floor bleeding from every orifice) needs. For painful ravenous death, you have two options. First, the critters who aren't picky about whether their prey's dead yet, such as the African painted dogs or the hyenas. But second, bear in mind that the ouchiness of death tends to be inversely proportional to the ratio of the size of the predator to the size of the prey. On this score, easily the most gruesome death I know of involves a couple of million driver ants. No stings, so no anaphylactic shock.
Of course, setting it up will be a lot trickier, and San Diego Zoo isn't likely to help you. It may be harder to make it look like an accident too.
for all your ROTFBFEO (rolling on the floor bleeding from every orifice) needs.Best. Catagory. Ever.
On this score, easily the most gruesome death I know of involves a couple of million driver ants. No stings, so no anaphylactic shock.I'm having ant issues. Painted dogs or Russell's viper work for me. The earlier I get out of here, the easier it can be. YImaginedGruesomeDeathMV, of course.
You don't think the zoo would let me borrow some critters for this? If I ask pretty please? I promise I'll feed them.
--
In email...
Me: I was thinking about feeding [Client from Hell] to the komodo dragon but [billytea] has informed me that the one at the zoo has better oral hygiene than his wild brethren so a bite wouldn't likely lead to a painful infected death. Kinda sad about that.
Mama Cass: You could drive rusty nails through her hands and feet.
Me: Didn't work out so well for Pontius Pilate.
Mama Cass: True, but he didn't wait for tetanus to set in. Of course, she could be up-to-date on her shots.
BTW Fay - is this Yorkshire dialect with "Tha" and all that something you actually speak on occassion.
Not so much, because I've got a generic Middle Class Accent which these days fluctuates between Northern, Southern and MidAtlantic, with occasional forays into East End and Liverpudlian.
Or just something you hear on occassion.
Oh, grew up surrounded by. Totally. Wall to wall. Thus got picked on at school no end, and was the freakish middle class kid who talked posh and probably had servants (!!!???).
Cause if you can do it authentically I'd love to see a paragraph in Yorkshire Dialect. As an American I've never in my life encountered it face to face, and pretty seldom in literature.
Well, I dunt really nor 'ar ter rayt it dahn, sithee. 't i'nt ar ah normally talk, missen, so it's a bit on an effort to type it rayt way withart mekkin a rayt prat o' missen.