for all your ROTFBFEO (rolling on the floor bleeding from every orifice) needs.
Best. Catagory. Ever.
On this score, easily the most gruesome death I know of involves a couple of million driver ants. No stings, so no anaphylactic shock.
I'm having ant issues. Painted dogs or Russell's viper work for me. The earlier I get out of here, the easier it can be. YImaginedGruesomeDeathMV, of course.
You don't think the zoo would let me borrow some critters for this? If I ask pretty please? I promise I'll feed them.
--
In email...
Me: I was thinking about feeding [Client from Hell] to the komodo dragon but [billytea] has informed me that the one at the zoo has better oral hygiene than his wild brethren so a bite wouldn't likely lead to a painful infected death. Kinda sad about that.
Mama Cass: You could drive rusty nails through her hands and feet.
Me: Didn't work out so well for Pontius Pilate.
Mama Cass: True, but he didn't wait for tetanus to set in. Of course, she could be up-to-date on her shots.
BTW Fay - is this Yorkshire dialect with "Tha" and all that something you actually speak on occassion.
Not so much, because I've got a generic Middle Class Accent which these days fluctuates between Northern, Southern and MidAtlantic, with occasional forays into East End and Liverpudlian.
Or just something you hear on occassion.
Oh, grew up surrounded by. Totally. Wall to wall. Thus got picked on at school no end, and was the freakish middle class kid who talked posh and probably had servants (!!!???).
Cause if you can do it authentically I'd love to see a paragraph in Yorkshire Dialect. As an American I've never in my life encountered it face to face, and pretty seldom in literature.
Well, I dunt really nor 'ar ter rayt it dahn, sithee. 't i'nt ar ah normally talk, missen, so it's a bit on an effort to type it rayt way withart mekkin a rayt prat o' missen.
Children: I like them, but I cannot eat a whole one. They are never the same when you defrost
HAHAHA! Billytea, that woman is awesome!!
Sample sentence recalled from my childhood, which I only realised, when at University, harked straight back to Anglo Saxon vocabulary: "Art tha laikin'?" = "Are you playing?
This is why Fay's accent makes me swoon. Though I REALLY loved her coworker K's accent. I had no idea Welsh accents were so hot. YUM.
Happy Birthday Empress!!
Am all shaky and kind of brimming-with-story-but-thirsty-for-more after mainlining Veronica Mars and just watching the last ep.
WHOOT! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
I'm mopey.
Anyone want to come over and rub my temples with fragrant oils and feed me slices of ripened white nectarines?
Bueller?
Well, I dunt really nor 'ar ter rayt it dahn, sithee. 't i'nt ar ah normally talk, missen, so it's a bit on an effort to type it rayt way withart mekkin a rayt prat o' missen.
Pirate talk! All pirates come from Barnsley! It's so clear now.
We collected JZ at the airport and she has arrived safely home. There was a shiny pink bike waiting for her in the living room.
Wait...I didn't have a pencil handy. So Kristin wants somebody to rub nectarines on her head?
Gid JZ love and adore her bike?
Anyone want to come over and rub my temples with fragrant oils and feed me slices of ripened white nectarines?
No, It's time for me to get some sleep, anyway.
But thanks for the idea. Andi will like that.
You still there, Hec?
Just thought I'd let you know the M's have got ourselves a pitcher again, and I just got home from his home debut and first win (see revised tag). Eight shutout innnings. 94 pitches, 69 of them strikes. No walks. Fastball topped out at 98 mph.
Knowing our luck his arm will fall off before the season is over, but if he stays healthy, consider yourselves warned.
