How about wearing black jeans and a black tank top and an ankh necklace and eye of horus eyeliner? Is that acceptable?
Don't think I didn't catch that, you sneaky-pants. It is acceptable if worn with Really Big Hair and a perky demeanor.
But yeah, if you're no longer financially dependent on them, draw a (quiet and gentle if need be) line in the sand, here. Find something to tide you over, even a retail or waiter job, while you're doing your serious job hunting, and start taking possession of your own life. To the extent that they'll hear it, you can say everything to your parents in a friendly manner, "Oh, no thanks. I won't be going on the vacation but thanks for thinking of me," or "On, no thanks. I am going to keep my lease for now, but thanks for your help." You only have to get stompy footed if they issue orders. Otherwise, treat what they "tell" you to do as kindly suggestions that aren't your cup of tea.
Cindy is very, very wise, and a heck of a lot more coherent than me. So I'm going to point at what she said and nod a lot.
Cindy, the verbal jujitsu idea is wonderful. (Also, query whether a 2-week vacation is the best thing to do while unemployed and in the middle of a job hunt.)
Shit, the phone is ringing. Here we go.
family vacation
you can't afford it. and having nothing to do with dollars and cents. You need to job hunt. Even if you were moving back with the family. You can't afford to miss an oppertunity.
P-C it is time to make a choice. What role are your parents going to play in your life? You can't change how they behave. they will most likely be exactly as they are today for the rest of your life. So how are you going to behave. Will you give them another chance to help ? How will you react when they get emoional? By gettign emotional? by being sympathtic, yet resolved? By refusing to engage? Where do you want to take this relationship. ( BTW - no instant answers you need to really think about this)
Good luck, P-C!!! Extra hard vibing and punctuation to you right now.
P-C, I am with those that point out that you have a certain amount of control in the relationship with your parents. I sense that you have been avoiding the conflicts with them (e.g. giving your mother the realtor's phone number rather than say, "no") and I think it's time you used the "no" option a lot more frequently. As Cindy pointed out, it doesn't have to be used in a mean way, but can be employed politely. Just don't budge. Good luck!
Cindy, btw, none of my Seattle friends came up with a DO or other doctor for your friends. They are too damn healthy up there. Sorry!
Whoa. {{{P-C}}} You've gotten lots of good advice, and I think Cindy and Jilli are really, truly right. All the ~ma in the world, sweetie.
Thing is, I'd like to be pregnant again...But not now. Oh God, not now.
Change this to "not EVER again" for me. But yeah, I know you want to do it again. Waiting until you feel prepared is always a good plan.
AmyLiz, is your profile address still good, what with all the moving and stuff you've done?
If it's the gmail one, yeah. That's what I'm using now. And email whenever you like. ETA That's not the one in profile, but that works, too. It bounces.
P-C,sorry if I skipped past this, but who's paying your rent?
Edit: Never mind, I missed this:
Cindy, they're not paying my rent. I'm paying out of my slowly dwindling bank account.
This is what I think you should do. I think you should get a McJob of some sort to cease your bank account's speed of dwindling and hold off bankruptcy, and tell your landlord you intend to stay put. I suspect your mother would have much less to say about it if you were working.
Best wishes and my sympathy, either way.
