My mom is oddly invested in making sure that I have sex.

The opportunities to mess with a parent's mind....

Although, we both have a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy about a lot of things.

I am so jealous. Seriously.

For my mom, a non-celibate, single daughter is a bad thing.

My mom once called me for the sole purpose of demanding, "Do you HATE men?!?"

Me: "Whuzza?"

Mom: "Well, you never date, so I wondered if it's because you hate men!"

Me: "Mom, I hate everybody. It keeps things simple."

There was about an 8 year period when I didn't really date. Certainly no one I told my mother about (I don't tell her about guys until they've been around about 6 months and look to be around a while longer). When I finally did start seeing someone again that I told her about, she sounded very relieved. I think she may have begun thinking I was a lesbian.

Jeez, it's been over seven years since I've dated anyone. I went out with the guy for maybe five weeks and broke it off since he wanted us to spend all our spare time together. Not enough "Hell no!" in the world.

Jeez, it's been over seven years since I've dated anyone.

But now that you've got a sassy haircut, and a strategy of poaching gamers I think we can reset your clock in a matter of months.

Not to put any pressure on you, but you're really far too cute to be fallow for so long.

There was about an 8 year period when I didn't really date.

My default status is not-dating. The few times I have, I'm sure people started looking for the other 3 Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

When I told Mom that the FAC BF and I broke up, the first -- I swear to you -- the very first thing she said was not "I'm sorry," or "I'll kick his ass," but "Well, is there anyone else you're interested in dating?"

Okay, Mom, let's wait for the body to cool, okay?

It never really occurred to her that maybe I don't date because I had such shitty models growing up of what relationships are supposed to look like.

Not to put any pressure on you, but you're really far too cute to be fallow for so long.

blushes

Thanks! I honestly think that confidence issues have been the main thing keeping me fallow.

The BF's parents have never connected the fact that 3 of their 4 children adamantly don't want kids as anything to do with them and their parenting.

Mom wasn't really up to it, actually. She yelled at me, which actually made things worse for a bit. But, I'm here now. Hopefully I'll make it through, as I just saw what at least my mother will be like if I quit. Let's just put it this way, her reaction was much like that of when I first told her I had sex.

I'm glad you made it in, vw. You are the vw bug that could, would, did, and will continue to. I'm sorry your mom wasn't up to the task/

I'm usually very private with what I tell my mom, but I did tell her I was having sex about six months into my relationship with Patrick. (Actually, I told her I was on birth control -- which was vaguely relevant to the conversation -- but the deduction required there isn't exactly Holmesian.)

It's kind of funny because she'll basically tell me absolutely anything, often far more than I want to know, except where it comes to sex, which she just does not want to discuss ever.