There was about an 8 year period when I didn't really date.

My default status is not-dating. The few times I have, I'm sure people started looking for the other 3 Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

When I told Mom that the FAC BF and I broke up, the first -- I swear to you -- the very first thing she said was not "I'm sorry," or "I'll kick his ass," but "Well, is there anyone else you're interested in dating?"

Okay, Mom, let's wait for the body to cool, okay?

It never really occurred to her that maybe I don't date because I had such shitty models growing up of what relationships are supposed to look like.

Not to put any pressure on you, but you're really far too cute to be fallow for so long.

blushes

Thanks! I honestly think that confidence issues have been the main thing keeping me fallow.

The BF's parents have never connected the fact that 3 of their 4 children adamantly don't want kids as anything to do with them and their parenting.

Mom wasn't really up to it, actually. She yelled at me, which actually made things worse for a bit. But, I'm here now. Hopefully I'll make it through, as I just saw what at least my mother will be like if I quit. Let's just put it this way, her reaction was much like that of when I first told her I had sex.

I'm glad you made it in, vw. You are the vw bug that could, would, did, and will continue to. I'm sorry your mom wasn't up to the task/

I'm usually very private with what I tell my mom, but I did tell her I was having sex about six months into my relationship with Patrick. (Actually, I told her I was on birth control -- which was vaguely relevant to the conversation -- but the deduction required there isn't exactly Holmesian.)

It's kind of funny because she'll basically tell me absolutely anything, often far more than I want to know, except where it comes to sex, which she just does not want to discuss ever.

The BF's parents have never connected the fact that 3 of their 4 children adamantly don't want kids as anything to do with them and their parenting.

Heh. Both my parents have openly stated that they don't particularly care if I ever have kids. The reason that I'm an only child is that my mother has a severly limited tolerance for infants and toddlers. Both parents have also told me that if I ever marry, it's perfectly okay with them if I elope.

As far as my mom knows, I never have.

I'd love to claim that, but the grandkid makes it unpossible. Sigh.

Usually it's work-related or family-related. Sometimes it's dear-friend-related, and there's no good way to say "I love you a lot, but parties make me feel all weird inside."

Actually, I think, "I love you a lot, but..." is a perfectly reasonable thing to say. Of course, the enjoyment roulette (will this be the party with the bullet? join us again next week!) makes it a little harder to make it a clear-cut policy to avoid parties when there's no external obligation such as family or work.

VW, go you for making it in! You can do this.

Hey Anne, you're a St. Louis person now I think. Is the St. Louis zoo pretty cool? I've heard good things.

I honestly think that confidence issues have been the main thing keeping me fallow.

HOney, if you start hanging out with gamers, you're going to realize you're an exemplar of social skill and confidence. FYI, it make take gamers a little while to get past "Girl! Girl in the game store, taking an interest!" to where they can talk to you. There are reasons why gamer geeks prefer to interact over gaming tables.

vw, there's a whole world full of Bitches loving you and cheering you on. You are amazing and wonderful. We want you to be happy, and we want you to be able to feel the love that surrounds you.