Phew! Sent off more emails tonight. It's kind of an odd experience. When I'm writing to any given woman, I'm focused completely on her. I read her profile, try to tease out her personality, her interests, try to go deeper into it all. I try to picture how a date might go, try to work out where we're compatible, where we're not, all this sort of thing; then I call up another profile and become immersed in someone else. There's a real disconnect going on here between the numbers game of putting myself out there, and looking for what makes a woman unique.
This isn't necessarily profound, but I'm starting to find it somewhat disconcerting. I'm not really emotionally designed to play the field.
Either way, I'm gross. That's what I am right now. Just plain gross.
billytea, what about non-dating focuses social opportunities? I'm not suggesting that instead of what you're doing, but just in addition. Do you do anything (or would you like to) that might put you in non-pressured social contact with women you'd find fun and with whom you'd share an interest?
billytea, what about non-dating focuses social opportunities? I'm not suggesting that instead of what you're doing, but just in addition. Do you do anything (or would you like to) that might put you in non-pressured social contact with women you'd find fun and with whom you'd share an interest?
Toastmasters is the most obvious possibility, though it doesn't pan out that way in practice. In theory, Pilates is done predominantly by women, so I could meet someone there; but let's say I don't feel it shows me at my best. Then there's D&D, but there aren't many women in the scene here.
Final option is Brendan's circle of friends, and I did in fact meet someone back in February whom I'd be very happy to run into again; but I think there's one too many degrees of separation to make it likely.
Plus, meeting someone anywhere else, I don't know how to navigate the whole question of if they're even looking for someone, and even if so, why would they want to field an advance from me? In the online settings, at least that's predetermined.
Then there's D&D
I meet pretty much everyone I know socially via gaming. If I were looking for a date, I'd look there first, but I'd be looking for guys, so the odds are good. But the goods are odd.
I've only ever met one person I'd get together with socially via martial arts/gym/physical stuff. She was the one who turned me onto
Due South
and finally, with threat of beatings in class, made me start watching
Buffy.
This comes across as mememe, but in my bass-ackwards way I'm trying to show solidarity with billytea. It's tough to meet people with whom you have enough in common to propel any relationship.
the odds are good. But the goods are odd.
Gamer geeks are a very specialized taste. Mixed relationships of gamer guy vs. non-gamer girl are tricky, because too many times the girl has the hidden agenda of "I'll get him to stop wasting time on that idiotic hobby and those pathetic friends and spend the time with me." I always enjoyed dealing with those types of females at the game store. "How can you stand this childish stuff your husband's into?" they ask me. I'd smile back and say, "Because I play Orks, plus I'm a Dungeonmaster one night a week." They'd always give me a look like I'd betrayed them somehow.
My gaming group is dealing with exactly that right now. She's winning. Last time the group got together, she sat behind the DM and made faces whenever he talked.
Which is just rude, considering it was his house, and he was the host.
