Niska ,'War Stories'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
I had more but I have forgotten one of the key vocabulary words.
Bec just sent me a list of examples of creative writing from high school, mostly similes. So very hysterical. One of them seems appropriate here:
"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."
I read, but did not meara. I meara enough, I figure. :)
But cute hair, Brenda!!!
Palm Springs was slightly less hot today--only in the 110s, not the 120s. I still think I may actually prefer this to DC's humidity...if I were given the same amount of airconditioning in both places.
Then I went shopping at the outlet mall--I feel TERRIBLY cliche to be buying lingerie for travelling to meet my umfriend. But...it's a cliche for a reason, yeah?
Then I went shopping at the outlet mall--I feel TERRIBLY cliche to be buying lingerie for travelling to meet my umfriend. But...it's a cliche for a reason, yeah?
It probably needs less explanation than buying a whiffle bat or a pair of motorised roller skates.
"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."Are you saying that my brain is 12? Huh?
Palm Springs was slightly less hot today--only in the 110s, not the 120s.Oh damn. Guess mom wasn't wrong when she was telling me how hot it was (she's just north of there, in Joshua Tree) yesterday and today. How did I live there?
But lingere is good in any weather.
Ok, I can't keep these to myself. This is the full list of similes etc that Bec sent me:
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
26. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
28. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
I've seen that list before, billytea. It's hilarious. The source is probably an urban legend, but some of those are fucking awesome, and in a good way.
Those are lovely, and I may need to use some of them in conversation.
Hey Cass! I've got some relatives up in Joshua Tree too--well, the great-uncle who I visited last time I was here just died a couple months back (part of the reason i went to visit him). But yes. It's FUCKING HOT.
Billytea, I just haven't gotten around to buying the whiffle balls and the potato masher.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
Someone has read from the book of Adams.