Silence gives me the illusion of privacy. I would prefer to never have to use a bathroom that wasn't mine, really.

My elementary school had a big, round, communal concrete sink in the boy's room. There was a bar around the base you stepped on, and metal mushroom shaped thing in the middle that spritzed water like a lawn sprinkler.

They have these at Cal Expo. I think. Maybe Shorline. Somewhere where I used to go to a lot of concerts, anyway.

so mostly what I mean is I mind it when my mother comes into the bathroom to talk to me while I'm peeing at her house.

Is there no lock on the door?

I always love freaking out new male co-workers by telling them about the couch in the ladies room. They don't have one theirs. Between that, and the fancy lounges in department store ladies rooms, I think that women have it pretty good, bathroom-wise.

Even worse was when I was the first in my 5th-grade class to get her period, and had to deal with pads, etc., in full view of anyone else in that bathroom.

Oh, Kathy. I hear you. My 5th-grade classroom didn't have a bathroom. I had to stand in front of the entire class and request a pass to go to the main building. Imagine how that went over with a bunch of cruel ten-year-olds.

(The memories of having my teacher notice that I bled through my light-colored pants, the female classmate who liked to drive-by pinch my boobs, being mistaken for a teacher in 4th-grade, though, those are everlasting. Yay.)

I wasn't ever mistaken for a teacher, for I am short, but... dear god, Kathy, you're freaking me out here with the I-am-you and you-is-me stuff.

I would prefer to never have to use a bathroom that wasn't mine, really.

There you go. I have family members that go to insane (and accident-risking) extremes to avoid using public bathrooms. I'm not that bad, but yeah, the pretense of not being around people I wouldn't let use my bathroom is very important to me.

In other news, part of my shiner is lighter than my current facial skin tone. It's very distracting when I catch a glimpse of my reflection (say, in the washroom), but now I understand the "that golden nugget under your eye" comment that was tossed at me yesterday.

My elementary school had a big, round, communal concrete sink in the boy's room. There was a bar around the base you stepped on, and metal mushroom shaped thing in the middle that spritzed water like a lawn sprinkler.

Anybody know what I'm talking about? In retrospect, it was verra strange.

Is that all that is, a sink? I'd never seen one, until last year, when Julia had her dance recital. I took her to the ladies room to change between numbers. The recital was held at Saugus High School. I just gazed at it in wonder.

...I think that women have it pretty good, bathroom-wise.

Urinals and the ability to pee standing up. That is all.

Is there no lock on the door?

Huh. You know what? I have no idea. I've actually mostly gotten her to stop doing it, so it's not a huge deal.

ION: Elmo Doesn't Speak Up on His Cellphone, Mom's Suit Alleges

Has Tickle Me Elmo been replaced by Bait-and-Switch Elmo?

Where most toys for preschoolers are designed to make a racket, Elmo's World Talking Cell Phone doesn't make enough noise, a Pasadena mom contends in a lawsuit.

She's accusing Mattel Inc. and subsidiary Fisher-Price, which sells toys based on Sesame Street characters, of rigging the phone so it is audible only when shoppers try it in the store.

....

Elmo is easily heard when the phone is in the box, according to the complaint filed on behalf of Elisabeth Marchetti, who bought the toy for her 18-month-old daughter, Ava, in February.

But when the toy is out of the box, the suit contends, Elmo speaks barely above a whisper, making children and parents as unhappy as Oscar the Grouch. Opening the box removes a plastic strip from the phone, resetting the volume.

Urinals and the ability to pee standing up. That is all.

Sorry, is that a pro or a con? I'm so okay with not having that common genitalia space, you don't even understand. How can I pretend I'm alone with a stranger's labia right there????

Also, I can pee standing up.