Susan, you've still got all my ~ma, so direct it as needed.

Can you make it far enough to get some ibuprofen and some ice, Susan?

Backs just go out like that. The worst I know of is a friend who went to open her car door in a parking lot. Her back went into a spasm and she went down screaming next to the car. She had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance and stayed there for several days being pumped full of muscle relaxants.

But what does it actually mean when your back goes out? I mean, medically, what happened to me? And how long will it hurt this bad? Right now I'd be happy to spend most of the time lying on the couch if I could do little things like go to the bathroom without it hurting so bad.

Is this because I'm not really young anymore? Or because I need to lose 30 lbs.? Both? Neither?

(Really wish the doc would hurry up and call back.)

But what does it actually mean when your back goes out?

Ahh, well there are a number of theories on this, but backs are still fairly mysterious even to the medical community.

The most consistently advanced theory I've heard is that as you get older the discs between your vertabrae get less elastic and tend to fray. When your back "goes out" what is often happening is that you've herniated a disc and it's spilling all it's juice out. Which means you're now getting pressure on all those lovely nerve endings in your back and it hurts like fuck and you can't even think about bending in certain directions.

How long is variable. When mine first went out, I was barely functional for a week. After that I was more mobile, but it still hurt for a long time after and continues to get sore. Eventually you'll get back to full mobility but you really have to be careful with it because once you do it once, it's a sign that it can go out again. You'll need some strong pain killers to deal with it. Nothing less than Vicodin makes a dent on me when my back goes.

Bad backs are one of nature's little gifts you get when you hit your thirties.

It's just because we still haven't completely evolved to an upright position. It could be a muscle spasm, a sprain of a muscle or ligament, or a joint or disc injury. There's a National Institutes of Health study that says that chiropractors are more effective than traditional medicine for low back pain. Usually the pain gets better with a couple of days of anti-inflammatories, ice and rest.

(edited because I haven't completely evolved to typing)

Is this because I'm not really young anymore? Or because I need to lose 30 lbs.? Both? Neither?

What everyone said about not getting Annabel up. If she wakes and is inconsolable before Dylan gets home, let her eat cookies in her crib. She'll perk right up. Dylan can change the sheet when he gets home.

And it's normal to just be on one side like this?

When my back goes out, it normally goes out just one one side below the hip.

So DH is going to have to use a bunch of his sick time or work from home until this is better, huh?

And it's normal to just be on one side like this?

Yep.