Fay is wise. Erin, stuff happens, and none of what you are dealing with right now means that you are a bad person in any way. I hope things begin to improve soon.

I am a month behind on rent. I have income for the next week, and hopefully my temp place will have a new assignment starting next Monday for me.

I am out of cigarettes. I just had a sobbing fit in the ladies room because the binding machine wouldn't work right. I look like fucking shit now, and I think I may throw up at any minute.

And I am going to stop writing now, because I am sick of the sound of my own sniveling.

Erin, you aren't sniveling. These are not easy things to deal with. How long 'til you can leave wherever you are?

5 o clock. Then I have to run my time sheet to the agency before 5:30.

And I AM sniveling. I wish I had some concealer.

{{{Erin}}}

I am looking into an area rug. Just have to fit it in the finances. I even have it picked out. [link]

[link]

Or that one.

I, too, want an area rug. And I think, even with the boost in $$ that the teaching job will allow me, I cam going to stay in my apartment another couple of years, so I should paint.

Okay, the rent thing's not ideal but it's bloody difficult for the landlord to do a damn thing about it, so it's not an immediate sword of Damocles. The income next week is good. The likely temp work is good. If they don't have anything for you on Monday, dress up smart and go and sit there with them, and make use of whatever cross training stuff they've got, so that they'll send you straight out the door as soon as something comes in. (Been a recruitment consultant. It'll work.)

Is there anyone you can go and visit with after work? (Preferably someone who smokes?!!?) You sound sorely in need of some TLC, babe. All this crap is fucking with your head, which is totally understandable. You need a bit of space so you can figure out where you can go from here and how you can start to make changes to get you to where you want to be. And you can.

Fuck, I sound like some stupid bloody fortune cookie. I want to slap me.

But, look, important bit is - I believe in you. You're a good person, you're talented, you're clever, you're sexy, you're funny. And you have an ass that other asses would kill to resemble. (And I'm not going to follow that particular line of thought, for it leads to shows like When Asses Attack!) You're going to get through this.

Jesus. I wish I could give you a fucking cigarette, woman. Stupid geography.

5 o clock. Then I have to run my time sheet to the agency before 5:30.

And at 5:31 you can curl up at home and let the stress take a hike.

You are NOT sniveling. Splash some cold water on your face and concentrate on what has to be done right now at work. Deal with the rest later in the privacy of your own place.

I like the first one, Empress.

You are not sniveling. And Fay is very, very wise. Follow her advice.

Does this place you're at currently have an assortment of free tea & coffee stuff in the kitchen? If so, go snag two teabags (black tea, pref. w/o any citrus oils), the scamper back to the bathroom. Moisten the teabags under cold water, squeeze them so they're just damp, and then put them on your closed eyelids while you hide in a stall for five minutes. This will make your eyes less puffy & red, and help lessen the need for concealer. (Tho' I bet you don't look anywere NEAR as bad as you think.)