{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{all the Bitches}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

My mom does not, this is one point in her favor, nag or hint at major milestones she expects me to hit ASAP. She is generally too busy talking about pleasant or unpleasant details of her life. I can, and have, put the phone down and go to the bathroom then return without her stopping or noticing that I wasn't there.

Deena! What a simply yucky day you've been having! PMS deserves a hot fudge sundae from Malleys. And a ride on the merry-go-round. There is pretty much nothing that will make the aftermath of the scare that your kids' lives are in danger ease up... hmm, well, not that they serve at Malley's anyway.... whiskey, maybe...

Thanks, Cindy. That one was a freak-out. I didn't cry until Greg came home.

Oh, in really cool news, yesterday Kara brought me a sheaf of papers on which she'd drawn obviously amazing actions and said, "I need some yarn. I have to do some yarn stuff to my comic book." She had drawn her own comic book starring her new favorite character, Krypto the super dog. Today she drew a picture of me. Round face, hair just like mine, glasses. The child is a prodigy. On the other hand, Aidan has discovered the phrase, "Up, up and away!" and uses it frequently.

Hmm, you know, Andi. I think you're right. Tomorrow, hot fudge! It's a little late to go looking for it now.

Well, yeah, but that feels rude to me. They've gone to the trouble to get in touch, the least I can do is write back.

I'm with you on this. Being on the receiving end of a resounding silence rather than a quick "thanks but no thanks" message makes one feel both invisible and unworthy of a few keystrokes.

Hypothetically, I mean. I've got this friend...

How about something like: Thanks for writing. I've looked at your profile and I don't think we have many interests in common, but I'm really flattered by your e-mail. Maybe this online dating thing has something to it after all.

That way you're saying they've boosted your ego but you don't ask them for a date, and it's all light? I could be crazy.

Tomorrow, hot fudge! It's a little late to go looking for it now.

Malley's doesn't stay open later on the weekends? Oh wait, there's the whole parenting thing. I spose dragging the kids out for ice cream at 11pm wouldn't really be the thing to do.

Jen, I would just like to say again that you're very cool for sending me the Lorrie Moore Ploughshares. I haven't read any of the stories in it yet, but I finally read her intro the other day, and then saw the Post-It in the front and was reminded that people are awesome.

{{Deena}} That sounds like it was just horribly scary. I'm glad you were strong in the clinch, but still....ugh. Not a fun thing to go through.

And more {{}} for thems as needs them because it sounds like today was a bit of the yuck for everyone. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were all having the craxy 95 degree weather that we are. It's only June! for cry-y-y. This is Wisconsin, we're not supposed to get this crap until the end of July or August. It's enough to make me want to move to Alaska.

How about something like: Thanks for writing. I've looked at your profile and I don't think we have many interests in common, but I'm really flattered by your e-mail. Maybe this online dating thing has something to it after all.

I like that, I think that sort of thing would work nicely. Thanks Deena.

Aww, P-C, you just made me smile. Not an easy thing to do today--I've been in a crap mood all day.

It is my raison d'etre.

I forget where all the damn accents go.