Skippety-skipping with a clothing question: If a hiring manager specifically says "We're a casual office, so no need to wear a suit or stockings," should I take that seriously? I'm thinking green top with elbow sleeves and a ballet neckline, black knee-length flared skirt, black china flats, but I don't want to blow it by not putting my jacket on.

With the mask comes the responsibility, Trudy.

Too funny, Beej.

My mom used to burn her tampons over the gas flame in the kitchen, because they had trouble with vermin getting into their garbage. She said it made her feel like she was performing some arcane rite.

We used to go to a campground on the Lake Huron shore that had latrines in these old cedar shacks. I got desensitized to spiders right quick. But the smell--ugh. And I never felt clean afterwards. Hated it then, don't have to hate it now because my folks no longer pay my bills and Can't Make Me Go Camping.

Aimee, I'm sorry you're feeling bad about not going to the spa weekend. Bu tI think your response is quite sensible and thoughtful.

I always err on the side of caution. Wear the jacket, but unbuttoned.

Go you, Aimee. I know it's really hard, but you are doing the right thing. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

I'm about to head off to work. It's Hawaiian day, and I have a lei, a flower in my hair and a cute little tote bag with a hula dancer on it.

I don't wanna go.

First day or interview, Lyra Jane? Either way, I'd go a little formal till you can get a feel for the atmosphere yourself. What you describe + removable jacket sounds good - if the office is way casual you just hang the jacket over your arm or a chair or something.

Aimee, I think that is a great response.

vw, do you not want to go because of the heat?

I wish you didn't feel bad, Aimee, because you're being both responsible and kind.

What -t said Aimee. Seriously.

The bride for the wedding I just did invited me to go to an island with her and a bunch of our friends...not only finance, but Bartleby and well...working the wedding design...plus other responsibilities just made it a choice I was not willing to make. I love her and appreciated the invite but, frankly, I didn't feel bad at all. Not accepting the invitation was not a statement about her and I'd feel weird if she thought it did.

In the end, I was glad I didn't go. There were reports of plastic penises, bar hopping and general bitchery that make bach-elor, -ette events of little interest.

With the mask comes the responsibility, Trudy.

I was thinking more along "long lines of men" lines.