I'm trying to figure out a way to handle it because I have been, surprise surprise, kind of opinionated in a few other area of her wedding and I'm trying to tread lightly so as not to hurt her feelings again.

That sounds good, Aimee.

I'm starting to get the urge to lock Sparky's friend's wife up in a lab and do experiments on her. Strangely fascinating.

If that's so, Aimee, I might avoid mentioning what the other guests "have to" spend money on--it sounds like you're dissing her choice. Just speak for yourself and say that money is very tight right now and it sounds like a lovely weekend, however you won't go this time, but look forward to her other shower and to having her all to yourself at Burke Williams.

but I worry that if your guests have to pay for their spa treatments, they might not get you gifts and since the shower is supposed to be about you anyway

I understand you need to tread lightly. How about flipping the above a bit: "the shower is supposed to be about you, and I worry that if the guests are thinking about paying for their spa treatments they won't get you gifts and give you the attention you deserve"

B-The shower sounds like an awful lot of fun but the shower is supposed to be about you, and I worry that if the guests are thinking about paying for their spa treatments they won't get you gifts and give you the attention you deserve maybe T and I and the others plan something where we would all pamper you. Just my thoughts, Love. A

Edited cause I liked the sujoostetion.

She said she'd never want to get a driver's license because then she'd have to do things alone and this meant that her husband would come home every night, and didn't I hate doing things like grocery shopping alone when I could be doing them with my hubby?

t eye roll

I mean, yeah, going to the grocery store/Target is what approximates a date for Tom and I right now, but that's no reason for simpering forced helplessness.

She sounds like a total lame-ass!

Tom is tickled to see my ass get the attention he feels it so richly deserves.

Sparky's friend's wife is LAME. However, this:

He told me that his wife to be had been looking forward to this kind of wedding for years and he couldn't do that to her. 10+ years later, they still haven't paid it off.

Makes me feel better about the fact we've been carrying a balance on our credit cards ever since DH's spate of tech-bust induced unemployment in 2001. Because, tech bust! Not something we chose. And only four years ago.

I like the new improved note even better.

That's a good note, Aimee.

In mememe news, I'm starting to feel oddly relieved about the prospect of finding a job again. I'm worried about finding childcare, and I'm worried that I won't be able to find a manager who'll appreciate my independent ways rather than micromanaging and teambuilding me to death. But the thing is, my heart has never been in freelancing. I like it, but my passion is all for the novels. To freelance effectively, I think you need the passion. When you have to market yourself, you can't have a clock-puncher's attitude.

So if I can just find a job that A) either allows me to work from home or afford childcare, B) pays well enough to punch down our debt and help us get this house bought and remodeled, C) isn't another House of Soulsuck, and D) leaves me with enough time to write, then I can focus my heart and soul on my writing with a clear conscience. (I know, I don't ask for much!) And, with the blessing, someday I'll be working from home again because I'll be an author.

My mom's the best. She gave me my birthday present early (which isn't surprising) -- and it's the kitchen cart I wanted! I went to Wal Mart to get it this weekend and they were out but said they'd get more in, when I went back even the display model was gone . I had them call around but the other stores claimed not to have it.

Mom went to the one by her work and badgered them into giving her the display model. They didn't want to because supposedly they were getting more.

I only turned to Walmart because the other ones I found were too big. This is what I got.

[link]

It says in stock but the other day it said out of stock.