Dammit.
Shit.
One of our cars is dead. The other has had its check engine light on for a few days--we just hadn't gotten around to doing anything about it yet.
The dead car is the newer one, "my" car because Annabel's carseat fits better in it. But when I tried to start it this evening after a meeting at my church, nothing. Nada. DH came from work and tried to jump it; no go. So we swapped the carseat into the old car, and Dylan stayed with the dead car to call a tow truck and such.
I just want something good to happen to us for a change. I'd settle for something awfully small. But something where it doesn't feel like my life is falling apart all around me.
And I made a decision driving home. As soon as we're back from Alabama (we'll be there 6/12-18), I'm looking for a job. It's the only responsible thing to do. As is, we're about to add to our credit card debt to get both our cars fixed. The best we can do is tread water, and we're never going to get ahead until I'm bringing in more money. I jumped too soon into freelancing, and I'm inclined to think it was doomed from the start because my heart is really in my novels. Freelancing doesn't work as a day job.
But I just want some little thing to go right. I want to be happy, just a little bit, in the midst of broken cars and financial stress and thrown-out backs and dads who probably won't live much longer.
On the "Cass Shuffle": They're talking about how everyone else moved from the waist up and Cass was always dancing. "She made us look bad, we'd maybe tap a toe and she'd be dancing away. For a very big girl she had a great sense of rhythm."
Sighhhh
She danced rings around all of you. Be sure to mention she was heavy.
Susan, much car~ma and general life~ma to you. I hope things turn around soon.
I'm sorry, Susan. I hope better times come soon.
car ~ma (hee) Susan.
OMG! Michelle just talked about John's hats without bringing up Cass' weight! It's a miracle.
(I admit, I got a dog in this fight, I'm a big woman who wants to perform -- but my GOD, the woman's voice and charisma were AMAZING...)
Car-ma to Susan.
Yays! for Sean and Askye.
I still sometimes imagine Carney Wilson is secretly Cass' daughter, despite being on the "Wilson" side of Wilson Phillips.
My late brother Don said when he was in that particular scene, he would not have put it past the groups to hide a Cass pregnancy amongst the groups.
I reminded him Cass was on TV quite a bit in those days, and in 1968 quite a lot.
DH still hasn't called, and I hesitate to call him, because he was such a dark cloud of misery when the jump start attempt failed, and I know he was frustrated that I was so clueless about the whole situation. (All I know about cars=put gas in them when the indicator goes to "E," and take them to Jiffy Lube every so often.)
I'm just so miserable right now, and wondering where I went wrong and what I did to deserve this, which is STUPID, because all of this is first world problems, but I want one good thing. Just one little good thing.
I'm watching this PBS thing on The Mammas and The Pappas. It's fun to count how many times Michelle Phillips mention's Cass' size.
Bitch.
On the "Cass Shuffle": They're talking about how everyone else moved from the waist up and Cass was always dancing. "She made us look bad, we'd maybe tap a toe and she'd be dancing away. For a very big girl she had a great sense of rhythm."
Well I got me some mad skillz...
I reminded him Cass was on TV quite a bit in those days, and in 1968 quite a lot.
But I was only an egg and a glimmer...
This really isn't about me, is it?
