Did "succinct" change meaning on me?
Fan Fiction II: Great story! Where's the sequel?
This thread is for fanfic recs, links, and discussion, but not for actual posting of fanfic.
I meant that in the way that if the writer wanted to express all of those details, but in not such a weird way, it would have been wordier, with more sentences, and therefore less "succinct". The air quotes were there in spirit the first time around.
I think the author should consider the value of those details. I'm sleepier already.
Sometimes it's clear that it's not simply a matter of hitting F7.
The room was too small, that’s the first thing Castiel noticed when he pushed the wooden door open. It was to small for him, to small for two people.
With a sigh he doped his bags to the floor, looking at the beds on the right and left walls. One sported a maroon quilt and tan sheets, as well as a couple of pillows. The chest at the end of the bed was overflowing with clothes and other belongings. A poster for a band Castiel didn’t recognize hung on the wall. The bed to his left, his no doughtily was bare. No comforting pillows or blankets, no recognizable posters.
He sat on the edge of his bed, putting his hands over his pale face. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. He counted in his head until he got to 60, a minuet had past and he as okay, wasted he? He was still here, breathing, living. He probably did this to often; it was a way of keeping himself calm, put together.
No doughtily.
No diggity.
No doubt.
I liked the recently read sentence "the two empty seats were occupied by...".
This is a very fun Buffy fanvid: [link]
That was really fun. Thanks for the link!
OMG, someone get this writer a pronoun infusion, stat:
The teenager quickly changed into his swim trunks in the still empty locker room. The young man then moved past the private showers to the open shower room where he ducked under the cool spray rinsing off. The junior walked slowly out to where the pool area was, a few of the girls milling around. Dean stopped and looked around, his heart sinking when he didn't see the person he was looking for and climbed up onto his seat over viewing the pool.
That's just to stop the paragraph from flatlining. Therapy with different sentence structures should be prescribed for recovery.