Did "succinct" change meaning on me?
Can we maybe vote on the whole murdering people issue?
Wash ,'Serenity'
Fan Fiction II: Great story! Where's the sequel?
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§ ita § - Oct 16, 2013 12:56:08 pm PDT #8743 of 10434
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
Juliebird - Oct 16, 2013 1:10:24 pm PDT #8744 of 10434
I am the fly who dreams of the spider
I meant that in the way that if the writer wanted to express all of those details, but in not such a weird way, it would have been wordier, with more sentences, and therefore less "succinct". The air quotes were there in spirit the first time around.
§ ita § - Oct 16, 2013 3:00:51 pm PDT #8745 of 10434
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
I think the author should consider the value of those details. I'm sleepier already.
§ ita § - Oct 20, 2013 12:30:12 pm PDT #8746 of 10434
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
Sometimes it's clear that it's not simply a matter of hitting F7.
The room was too small, that’s the first thing Castiel noticed when he pushed the wooden door open. It was to small for him, to small for two people.
With a sigh he doped his bags to the floor, looking at the beds on the right and left walls. One sported a maroon quilt and tan sheets, as well as a couple of pillows. The chest at the end of the bed was overflowing with clothes and other belongings. A poster for a band Castiel didn’t recognize hung on the wall. The bed to his left, his no doughtily was bare. No comforting pillows or blankets, no recognizable posters.
He sat on the edge of his bed, putting his hands over his pale face. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. He counted in his head until he got to 60, a minuet had past and he as okay, wasted he? He was still here, breathing, living. He probably did this to often; it was a way of keeping himself calm, put together.
brenda m - Oct 20, 2013 12:34:39 pm PDT #8747 of 10434
If you're going through hell/keep on going/don't slow down/keep your fear from showing/you might be gone/'fore the devil even knows you're there
No doughtily.
§ ita § - Oct 20, 2013 12:37:01 pm PDT #8748 of 10434
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
No diggity.
Juliebird - Oct 20, 2013 12:52:09 pm PDT #8749 of 10434
I am the fly who dreams of the spider
No doubt.
I liked the recently read sentence "the two empty seats were occupied by...".
Consuela - Oct 26, 2013 8:55:31 am PDT #8750 of 10434
We are Buffistas. This isn't our first apocalypse. -- Pix
This is a very fun Buffy fanvid: [link]
Cass - Oct 26, 2013 3:56:44 pm PDT #8751 of 10434
Bob's learned to live with tragedy, but he knows that this tragedy is one that won't ever leave him or get better.
That was really fun. Thanks for the link!
§ ita § - Oct 30, 2013 5:57:56 pm PDT #8752 of 10434
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
OMG, someone get this writer a pronoun infusion, stat:
The teenager quickly changed into his swim trunks in the still empty locker room. The young man then moved past the private showers to the open shower room where he ducked under the cool spray rinsing off. The junior walked slowly out to where the pool area was, a few of the girls milling around. Dean stopped and looked around, his heart sinking when he didn't see the person he was looking for and climbed up onto his seat over viewing the pool.
That's just to stop the paragraph from flatlining. Therapy with different sentence structures should be prescribed for recovery.