One or two betas I've had have been so enthusiastic about my fic that they killed my writing process. They wanted to deconstruct everything and plumb the depths of character motivation for everyone and I haven't been able to write a word since.

I don't know if it was legitimate muse-killing or they hit me hard with the reality-stick that what I was attempting to write was so far beyond my capabilities.

Although, I'd rather have been able to put out a subpar fic completed than an abaondoned WIP. I know readers might disagree.

My WIP is nearly collapsed under the weight of expectations as well. I keep trying to drag it along.

I feel that if I'd kept writing with a vague outline and no in-depth thought, I'd have been able to finish. Now, even the thought of starting to write the next chapter I feel under-prepared.

I realize now that having a beta during the actual writing process can be bad, even if they're awesome. Because my awesome doesn't level out with theirs. And they see so much potential in me that I just don't have.

I'm definitely in a place where, if I were to seek out a beta again, it would be after everything is written.

I don't know if it was legitimate muse-killing or they hit me hard with the reality-stick that what I was attempting to write was so far beyond my capabilities.

Juliebird, I'm going to go out on a limb and say your muse was cruelly murdered. It sounds like some of your boundaries got more than a little trampled. I have left reviews for fic that were soul-crushingly bad and gotten enthusiastically thanked by the writers because I made a point of wording my suggestions for their improvement carefully enough. And now I count myself even more blessed to have had a marvelously sympatico beta for my one novella-length, took me six months to write, fic.

I really prefer, and ask, to have the whole draft sent, and preferrably at least a second draft. You can't really have a decent grasp of progression and direction if you don't know where you're going. I've retracted notes on a chapter when I got later chapters.

I work better chapter by chapter. There is a value in seeing the whole picture, but I prefer to break things down to more manageable chunks. Also I have definitely gotten to the point where I don't send out notes on chapter two until I see the revisions on chapter one (posted or resent to me, whichever). Not interested in giving tons of notes and edits if 50% of the run-on sentences are still stringing themselves along.

One of my all time favourite authors just complimented my comments (I leave about one per timestamp) and said she was afraid too. I...I was going to be surprised she had noticed a pattern, but not that many people commented on AO3, plus--she's a human being. I am not invisible. I was very touched, but I noticed that she replied to my comment way after everyone else's--my comment was first, but she replied to it weeks after replying to most of the others.

I feel kinda bad. I mean, I wonder if I'm all shamelessly gushy and OTT, but I LOVE YOUR WORK, SCARAMOUCHE--YOU CONVERTED ME TO Α/Β/Ω.

But it was silly to think there was no reason she'd remember a commenter from comment to comment--I'm not dealing with much volume at dA, but I do track two or three of the consistent commenters. At LJ it's all people I know from elsewhere (not gonna lie--when petitemadame compliments my work, I make unseemly noises) so it's a different ambience.

I feel kinda bad. I mean, I wonder if I'm all shamelessly gushy and OTT, but I LOVE YOUR WORK, SCARAMOUCHE--YOU CONVERTED ME TO Α/Β/Ω.

Link a body up.

PMM--I will grab it when I get home. It's weird--before it, those stories were just a place where some people put porn, but nothing made sense! Now I'm reading and just bailing as of the MPREG.

I *really* liked hers. Everyone else's became easier, and I accepted that MPREG was around the corner, as long as I come to a screeching halt before morning sickness.

She did do a cockwarmer!Cas I didn't like. I didn't hate it, and I even liked some of the psychology, but it wasn't hot.

Here you go, PMM: [link] Two stories in that series.

I see why she was answering comments just now--she posted a 55k D/C. Buh-bye free time!