I usually get bored with plot and skip ahead to the sex. Plot (like anything else) is easy to do badly.

Granted, those are the stories I've saved. There have been dozens more where "Oh, an excuse for sex? And prosaic sex at that? Next story."

I'll start with something PWP, and wind up with a novel's worth of plot to justify it in my head, become more interested in the plot

This is sort of me, I'll start with a plot bunny or a scene, then try to figure out how to get to that scene, and suddenly there are ten different plot threads weaving around the characters. The plot bunny that started my latest stalled project, and specifically a scene, hasn't even appeared yet in the story. And the point that I've decided to take an official break (halfway into the entire story), still won't have struck on it. And when I pick up the second half of this monstrosity, the plot bunny won't rear it's head until maybe three quarters into that! And I know that it could be longer if I was any good at writing introspection.

(One of the things that I love about not getting too naval-gazey is that I get comments where the reader seems to draw their own conclusion that is either spot on with what I had intended behind the scene, or points out shit that I wasn't consciously aware of or intending, but makes me look super smart).

I am incapable of short one-shots.

I have a beat in the story where I kill off a whole group of people, and now am stuck with having to repopulate certain roles in order to try and adhere to reality, and I'm running out of canon characters or how filling the gaps in the ranks would happen IRL.

I've stumbled upon fics where I've skimmed down and down, nope only halfway undressed, page down page down, finally in the bedroom, page down five times, onto part 2! A sex scene should not be 10,000 words.

Sometimes I wish there was a Porn Blocking 101 class, because too many times people wind up in positions that have no basis in reality.

Sweet Christ, this.

Too many "Wait, when did their pants come off enough to do that?" and "exactly how are you getting your face down there when the object of attention was last noted as being all the way over there? Was there lifting of legs? You forgot to mention. Or you think a head can crane that far on one's neck lying flat on a bed and not get impeded by other various body parts."

My two big beefs seem to be cowboy style with the pants still on (how stretchy are those blue jeans?) and rimming when last I knew, the character was lying flat on his back with his legs stretched out on the bed. Is it like Spike's sneaky dick, snaking all the way down pants that are still firmly up?

Drives me nuts, and you are not wrong.

I have a feeling we are talking about the same fandom, Plei.

Sometimes I wish there was a Porn Blocking 101 class, because too many times people wind up in positions that have no basis in reality.

YES. Even just a reminder to indicate radical changes in blocking would be good. If one partner is licking at the other's inner thighs, having neck-nuzzling happening in the next sentence is going to throw me for a bit of a loop.

Sometimes I wish there was a Porn Blocking 101 class, because too many times people wind up in positions that have no basis in reality.

When reading, nothing takes me out of the moment faster than the thought, "Not even porn stars bend like that." Which of course, means that writing good smut is about as sexy for me as a writer as I imagine sex scenes are for actors. It's all "Ok, that finger goes there, the elbow can't do that, gonna have to change positions to get there from here, blah blah way too analytical blah." For actors I expect there is a certain amount of "Ouch, you're on my hair!" and "Could you please not put your knee there!"

I've read some nice stuff where the characters actually do occasionally knee someone or stick an elbow in the eye, or even just start giggling so hard they can't do anything. Which is much more enjoyable for me than clever sexual choreography.

I'm more of a fade-to-black writer, myself. Saves having to do all that pesky organizing.

I imagine one of the root causes might be that so many of the people whose fanfic I've run across seem to have no firsthand experience with sex themselves.

I don't understand why that means they suddenly don't know the limits of the human spine, though.

I mean, I get a certain degree of "people don't actually do that for real" or "it doesn't go down the exact same way *every* time". But I don't have to have been in certain positions to know they can't be held. Also, there's a mega-shitload of porn out there. If the positions were all ones that flexible porn stars could do but no one would bother in the intimacy of their own bedroom, I'd get that too.

It's only bad research to me. Even if you've had sex, please check how many hands a given action takes. It's just polite.

Also, I'm glad to see it's increasingly a gland, not a bundle of nerves.