There's really no solution to this kind of situation, is there?
Yeah, sadly, no. Stupid universe!
(I personally think there are some aspects to the way that LJ is structured that makes this kind of conflict more difficult--it's so well set up for a big "yeah! You're right! They suck!" echo chamber. But nothing to be done about that, either.)
Because I don't want to see smart, talented fans who aren't into the crit aspect quietly leave the building, but I don't want to see smart, talented fans who love it feel like they have to shut up or shut down half of their way of looking at things so as to not upset group the first.
Right, of course, and LJ does allow one to structure one's reading--I can avoid metafandom, I can remove people from my flist who tend to say things that get up my nose, and with people I have actual relationships with it's different. Getting tired of crit on occasion is really my problem, not the problem of the people having the conversations that I sometimes find irritating; they're not doing anything wrong by having those discussions.