The Stargate slash panel at Dragon*Con was like watching a Mutual Masturbation Society throw a skanky bachelorette party, with all the implied shenanigans, rambling life stories, and high-pitched giggling of We Are So Daring, Drunk and Totally Daring!

It was mentally scarring. My mental scars. Let me show you them.

shudders.

and not in a good way.

Wow. I'm not mad that I missed that panel.

high-pitched giggling of We Are So Daring, Drunk and Totally Daring!

Well it is pretty daring to be willing to parade your total lack of social skills so publicly. Yikes.

but I'd be expecting a panel about slash to be about writing and subtext

Ha ha, you fool! No, in the ten minutes or so we were in the room, we heard mostly about the family lives of the panelists. Gay fathers who bonded with their daughters over slash. Young sisters being "corrupted" into slash.

Supposedly they started talking about characters after we left, but I don't regret leaving.

So, you're telling me, not only was it TMIriffic, it was also desperately in need of a martini-swilling BOFQ?

Because, bitches, please. Your transgressiveness has not even crossed the road yet.

I think I should get paid to sit around being jaded, don't you?

I got the impression from the panelists -- from the short time we were there -- that Stargate was their first slash fandom. And while that's all well and good for a Stargate slash panel, it's not remotely representative.

I don't like crashing panels, so we ran screaming rather than ask the room if they were tired of listening to the panelists' threesome fantasies and would they like to speak with people who actually possess tact and have some small amout of fannish cred.

Please tell me none of the on-camera guests actually showed up to hear their characters discussed? (OK, I suspect Lani Tupu has heard far more scarring things from Kemper and O'Bannon while actually working on the show, but as for the rest...)

Please tell me none of the on-camera guests actually showed up to hear their characters discussed?

No. Thank god. Though their karmic reward (such as it was) was to be presented with My Little Ponies decorated as Stargate characters at the next panel.

I have a few problems with the Stargate track moderator.

Though their karmic reward (such as it was) was to be presented with My Little Ponies decorated as Stargate characters at the next panel.

I'm not entirely sure, were I an actor, that I wouldn't prefer being at the slash panel.