Lies Verizon DSL Support Has Told Me Today

• “Phone lines over 14 feet will, over time, fry your modem.”
• “Your phone lines are like a car. Every once in a while, they need service.”
• “We cannot send a service technician to your house.”
• “I’d be happy to help you today.”
• “It is impossible to speak to my supervisor. My supervisor is Verizon.”
• “This is the ‘North American’ office.”
• “There is not electricity going down your phone line, sir. It’s data. Electricity has nothing to do with it.”

[link]

Oh, yum. Too bad you can't borrow my Fiestaware, Raquel. I've got it all boxed up, but I don't think I can get it to Greece by Thursday.

Oh goodie.

Internet delusions

A report in the medical journal Psychopathology notes that psychotic delusions increasingly concern the internet, suggesting high-technology can fulfil the role of malign 'magical' forces often experienced in psychosis.

Lies I Have Told Verizon DSL Support Today

• “I am an IEEE-certified electrical engineer.”
• “I would be happy to wait.”
• “I have completed all your tests as you requested, including rewiring my house.”
• “My secondary phase-coupling array shows a positive electricon flow across my end-to-end wiring.”
• “Have a nice day.”
• “I am sorry I used the term ‘totally assed in my face.’”

[link]

I love how both my link and Tom Scola's had a banner ad for Verizon.

Mmm... I want to go to Raquel's party. And using the china does not make it a fancy party -- just makes nice plates!

I woke up earlier than I had meant to, based on how late I stayed up, but apparently I was impersonating a mouse under the covers and my cat had to ATTACK!!

Today I will go for the long walk in the park I've been wanting to do all spring. Finally, nice weather!

(!!!)

I've got it all boxed up, but I don't think I can get it to Greece by Thursday.

DHL?

Edit: I want you to come to my party, too, Jesse! In fact, everyone's invited. But you guys know you have perma-vites to Greece anyway.

also? Jesse should come have lunch with me.

Can you make salsa fresca without cilantro?

There has got to be cilantro to be found! Actually, I've been in a similar situation. Back in Prague, my friend decided to throw a mexican themed party. And I got to do most of the shopping. Great fun, that. Nothing is quite as frustrating as trying to find the czech words for cilantro, triple sec (I know. Really. But everyone seemed very confused. I finally found an expat bartender who donated a bottle to my cause for the price of an invite) and sour cream. Oh and then actually trying to find said products. I think I confused many a shop owner that weekend.

Where do you get the green chile from? No sopapillas? (I can't imagine making them. But mmm.)

Had another frustrating conversation with the maintenance office. Seems they don't actually TALK to the workers and have no fucking clue what's going on beyond submitting a work order. Despite the fact she was standing there, TALKING to some of said staff. I think I might have to kill her.

Where do you get the green chile from?

My sister sent me a case of it as a housewarming present when we got here.

No sopapillas? (I can't imagine making them. But mmm.)

I know. I don't have a deep-fat fryer, though, so it's a messy process and mine never come out quite right. And they have to be hot, so I'd be in the kitchen instead of hostessing. But mmmm.

I am making the tortillas, though - they have them in the stores here (!!!) but they are shelf-stable tortillas that never go stale, and they taste a little like nickels. Of course, this means the tortillas, rather than round, will be shaped something like Alaska, but hey.