Immortality by 2050?:

Aeroplanes will be too afraid to crash, yoghurts will wish you good morning before being eaten and human consciousness will be stored on supercomputers, promising immortality for all - though it will help to be rich.

These fantastic claims are not made by a science fiction writer or a crystal ball-gazing lunatic. They are the deadly earnest predictions of Ian Pearson, head of the futurology unit at BT.

'If you draw the timelines, realistically by 2050 we would expect to be able to download your mind into a machine, so when you die it's not a major career problem,' Pearson told The Observer. 'If you're rich enough then by 2050 it's feasible. If you're poor you'll probably have to wait until 2075 or 2080 when it's routine. We are very serious about it. That's how fast this technology is moving: 45 years is a hell of a long time in IT.'

Pearson, 44, has formed his mind-boggling vision of the future after graduating in applied mathematics and theoretical physics, spending four years working in missile design and the past 20 years working in optical networks, broadband network evolution and cybernetics in BT's laboratories. He admits his prophecies are both 'very exciting' and 'very scary'.

He believes that today's youngsters may never have to die, and points to the rapid advances in computing power demonstrated last week, when Sony released the first details of its PlayStation 3. It is 35 times more powerful than previous games consoles. 'The new PlayStation is 1 per cent as powerful as a human brain,' he said. 'It is into supercomputer status compared to 10 years ago. PlayStation 5 will probably be as powerful as the human brain.'

he would expect to be able to download your mind into a machine, so when you die it's not a major career problem,'

More like you could create a clone of your mind. You'd still die.

It is 35 times more powerful than previous games consoles. 'The new PlayStation is 1 per cent as powerful as a human brain,' he said.

Bullshit.

I don't know whether I should be amused or ashamed that my main fannish e-mail is Darth Shrift, but in my defense, Shrift was already taken.

Aeroplanes will be too afraid to crash, yoghurts will wish you good morning before being eaten

Didn't Douglas Adams cover this territory? I don't recall it ending that well.

To be fair, it never ends well for the yogurt.

'We can already use DNA, for example, to make electronic circuits so it's possible to think of a smart yoghurt some time after 2020 or 2025, where the yoghurt has got a whole stack of electronics in every single bacterium. You could have a conversation with your strawberry yogurt before you eat it.'

I keep trying to think what the yoghurt would say and all I can come up with is "God no please please please oh Jesus help me please don't eat me I'll do anything just please please no," and really I'd just as soon it kept quiet.

More like you could create a clone of your mind. You'd still die.

But from your persepective, would you notice a difference?

[eta:

And yeah, I'm really not seeing an upside to creating talking yogurt. Or fearful airplanes.]

Nothing worth talking to is worth eating. So far, anyway.

If it could talk,no reason it couldn't get up and walk away and god knows some tubs I've forgotten in the back of the fridge sure as hell were trying....

Darth Colic