Huh. I always thought women wore matching underwear ONLY for men, and that on an average day where nobody would see them undressing, it was whatever undies were clean and at the top of the pile of laundry you never seem to put away.

Somedays I'm all about the first clean undies I can find. Other days I like my matching froofy stuff. I'm married, so it'll likely be seen eventually, but I think the fancy underwear are mostly for me. I have the lacy/satin/frilly underthings and 2 fancy robes that I wander around the house in on "spa days"

I think that's a wholly subjective thing

By definition.

that depends on both the woman and the guy in question

I'm wondering in terms of generalities.

Me, I dress just as much as *I* like, unless I need to have a specific effect (look professional, scary ... sexy is just one of those options, and not used as often as the other two suggestions).

However, I'm not unkempt. I do have a tendency to wear clothes that many might opine don't fit (both baggy and tight) from time to time. Mostly, though, I'm aiming to dress more for me, and less with a sensitivity to how complete strangers are going to react.

I do wonder if some of the guys who say "Legs? Hair? Makeup? Who cares?" have spent time looking at women with unshaved legs and pits.

*I* don't care. I figured guys did, though. Enough of them, and not just the "Why don't you look like CZJ?" kind. Just that one takes for granted that women look a bit more like the cleaned up version than we naturally do.

Hmm. Dunno if it's a guy vs. girl thing or just the fact that I'm a slob, but if I'm home and don't expect anyone to see me, pictures of the results could be used for blackmail purposes.

I think I have bought into the societal ideas about proper appearance quite a bit though. I find lack of shaving to be aesthetically unappealing on women despite having no personal stake in their attractiveness, and despite finding the exact opposite to be true of men.

I think most of what I do I do for myself. My DH claims to not like makeup, nail polish or perfume, etc. I wear all those things on occassion, so I must be doing it because I want to.

To pick up on Connie's idea, I would rebel if he suddenly started telling me I should wear lipstick, but I appreciate it when he reminds me I might need some sunscreen.

I do wonder if some of the guys who say "Legs? Hair? Makeup? Who cares?" have spent time looking at women with unshaved legs and pits.

My guy does, considering he's looking at me. I don't wear sleeveless shirts because I've got flabby arms, but I do wear shorts. Hubby thinks I'm the sexiest thing around.

But, then, he's on lots of weird drugs.

DH likes it when I take the time to dress up a bit when we go out, but he totally wouldn't care if I never shaved or tweezed anything ever again. So I often don't shave my legs over the winter, and he's all mystified that I insist on shaving before going out in shorts.

Usually when I take the time to be well-groomed these days, it's to put on a professional face for a client or a writing function. It's not so much about making myself prettier as trying to look like I take myself seriously, so clients, editors, and agents will do the same.

I do wonder if some of the guys who say "Legs? Hair? Makeup? Who cares?" have spent time looking at women with unshaved legs and pits.

Some guys are turned on by hairy legs and pits. See The Joy of Sex, for instance.

Dunno if it's a guy vs. girl thing or just the fact that I'm a slob, but if I'm home and don't expect anyone to see me, pictures of the results could be used for blackmail purposes.

Heh. I am Matt.

Me, I dress just as much as *I* like, unless I need to have a specific effect (look professional, scary ... sexy is just one of those options, and not used as often as the other two suggestions).

This is me too, pretty much. My office's "business casual" dress code is a lot more casual than business, but I still like to look relatively put-together when I leave the house.

Nonetheless, my underwear has never matched, ever. Makeup during the day? Don't make me laugh.

Some guys are turned on by hairy legs and pits

Which is why I said "some of the guys."

I, for instance, didn't realise until I went to university, that most women have pit hair. I can definitely see ways a reasonable guy could make a similar mistake, and have it last longer.

I've definitely heard guys I consider pretty reasonable assume all women shave their legs, and be surprised that I didn't. A couple dropped off the reasonable list by suggesting I start (dude, if I have to tell you I don't shave them, it's possibly not an issue).

It is very true that a guy who does more than indicate things he likes to see is liable to get blacklisted quickly by me. But it seems to me that very many guys assume that most women will tweeze, pluck and shave, and that's what women do, and that's how women will look.