I think it depends on the pet and the person, and the situation. You prioritize, and do what you need to do to make yourself happy. You let go of a person you love or a pet you love (if it comes to that). Not an enviable situation either way, and I'm happy I was able to avoid it.

I think it all comes down to choices, and there are a lot of ways to figure out if something's going to be a sticking point before it gets to something serious. For example, JZ likely knew from the beginning that Hec was allergic to cats, and possibly knew in the back of her mind that if things were to move forward with Hec, that co-habitation would mean some tough choices. I may be assuming stuff that is stupid of me to assume. But that's what I've gleaned.

Well gleaned. JZ and I had to make a number of compromises to come around to a marriage. I had to be willing to have children again, first of all. And a Catholic wedding, while not a dealbreaker, was a very high priority for her. And my allergies were not mild enough to deal with medicine, and Emmett is allergic to cats as well.

In any event, I love animals and don't doubt Toto's wonderfulness or the bond he has with vw. I didn't really intend to do more than state my own priorities in the matter, though I suppose it was provocative to say something like, "if you prefer pets to people you'll probably wind up with pets." But that just seemed self-evident to me, in the sense that if you set your filter that way and sift through all your life choices through that screen then you're going to be plus pets and minus people when you're done.

I wake up to NPR, but lately I've been waking up before the alarm goes off, so I missed my chance to wake up to the Star Wars theme. Actually, this morning I woke up 15 minutes before the alarm was supposed to go up and remembered that the power went out yesterday and the alarm clock was never going to go off. So I got up and set it. And somehow missed the Star Wars story. Probably while taking the dog out.

That's some of the good, -t. And who knows, you may get your deposit. AFAIK, we were the only tenants to get our deposit back from our last landlords, and I'm sure that was only because we caught them at a bad time when we asked for it (the husband's mother had just passed away), and they weren't feeling like being dicks. So you may catch your landlord in a transitional moment.

I am hoping 40 is better than 30, as 30 was stupid. Or I was stupid at 30. I was significantly less together at 30 than I was at 25. At 35 I was the most together I'd ever been. It's nsm the fear of 40 that was getting to me though as the enforced hiatus on stuff I enjoy. I mean, maybe I wouldn't play paintball for the next few years, but to know I can't is distressing. My friends in the States get together to do stuff even with their infant children; in fact, my paintball team is all going to see Star Wars together, and a couple of the spouses who aren't interested are watching the kids. To know I can't do anything like that for years is getting to me - time is speeding up so much as I get older that every year seems extra-precious.

Usually I like being overseas because, while I give up stuff like jiujitsu and gaming, I get to travel, see and do cool things, and sometimes get surprise activities, like fencing in Malaysia. But it's becoming painfully obvious that there won't be any of that this time, so I'm feeling all sorry for myself. I know I could use the years I'm here to my advantage, but my little extroverted self is feeling the pain of having to be alone. And I've never thought of myself as a stay-at-home mom, so I'm also having to deal with saying goodbye to who I was, even though I liked me.

Of course, this could all be post-partum depression.

I can't really contribute on either the gun discussion or the pet/people discussion, but being a Buffista I'm going to anyway...on pets, like vw, I can't imagine having someone in my life who either wasn't an animal person. I've had my husband and my cat about the same length of time, and we got the cat even though we knew my husband was mildly allergic (really mildly, so not usually a problem). Since I had the husband before I met the cat, no issue, but Legion is so incredibly important to me that I can't imagine giving him up for anything. However, we did have to give up a couple kittens we adopted right after getting married because of Robert's allergies, and while it was very tough for both of us, it wasn't even the same as giving up Legion (I hate even THINKING that) because the kittens weren't as cool. That was more like breaking up with a casual friend so you could date someone you really connected with.

So I'm middle-of-the-roading it again, with "depends on whether the pet in question is a better fit with you than the person in question."

OTOH, you do make a commitment to your pets. I know people in the Foreign Service who've given up pets because they were going to countries that either quarantined for 6 months or didn't allow them at all, and I've always had a problem with those folks. There are a lot of countries out there; we would never even bid on a country that we couldn't take Legion to. (We didn't bid on Malaysia but got it assigned to us...but quarantine was only 1 month). I know this is pets/career not pets/people, but still.

On the gun thing, I'd say everyone gets a veto. No matter how irrational it seems, if your spouse is really freaked out about something, it's not good to force it on them. It will fester and cause problems, and all the more so if it's not a rational thing to be freaked out about. But this is where the whole "communication" thing comes in, which Susan's already figured out. So that's cool.

I suppose that could be, yeah. What? Nobody's gonna "Lie to Me" and tell me I'm going to meet LOML? Sometimes being friends with honest people sucks.:)

Maybe Susan and DH can compromise. Replica historial firearms for some, Canon Rebel XT cameras for others.

Nobody's gonna "Lie to Me" and tell me I'm going to meet LOML?

t rifles through list of scenarios You want a limousine or a horse for him to ride into your life in/on? Macho yet sensitive or geeky and sweet?

Lies R Us, honey, just give us the parameters.

Nobody's gonna "Lie to Me" and tell me I'm going to meet LOML?

Well, honestly I don't know that you won't. I just don't think it's as likely to happen in Phoenix. But I'd say that to anybody that lived in Phoenix.

I think the best guys have a little bit of all those things, Connie. And, Hec, yeah, I think any town that even the alternative weekly describes as having an "inferiority complex" may have some serious problems with cool. But people do get together here...they're just not likely flaming liberals with crime fascinations who have to bum rides.

I think allergies are different than not liking. Mild ones you can get over, but severe ones you are stuck with. The BF has allergies to down, so I had to give up my beloved down comforter or he would be sneezing and wheezing and having asthma attacks all night long. Like Tep, I wouldn't give up a pet for someone until we were serious, but if we were, I and it was a heallth issue, I would, but not before I found the pet a really good and happy home. For the same reasons, we didn't get a dog until our elderly and dog-hating cat died. He was too old and too cranky to live anywhere else but with us, and we were willing to give up something we loved and wanted to make him happy and comfortable.