Damn, Gud. Want me to come over and kick you in the nuts? That'd be less painful.

Sigh. I hate when I get pissy with someone and then find out I'm not 100% right, and have to back off--even though I'm still pissy. (In other words, Meschantes STILL HASN"T SHIPPED MY CORSET, and keeps saying it's "right on schedule" without actually saying when I'll get it. And I got mad, and sent an annoyed email...and then went back and checked ebay, and realized I was remembering the wording slightly wrong, as to when they'd ship it. Provided they ship it TOMORROW, they're still in their promise--I could wish they'd be at the START of their promise rather than the end, and I'm still pissed at their lack of communication, but had to send a "sorry, ignore last email" email)

(((Gud)))

I was offline, but I had a scary thing happen and realized what it will be like livign on my own.

There was a roach. It's disgusting and must be a sign that my room needs a major cleaning.

It was up high and over in the corner above teh shelving so I couldn't get to it. However, I tried. And failed. Then tried again, getting on a rather unstable vanity stool I have. I ended up losing my balance, falling, grabbing at the shelving, and then I went down. It happened fast and slow at the same time.

I think maybe I tried to catch myself or lessen the fall. But I knocked over my computer (so I'm making sure it works), broke the floor fan that I landed on. It was very loud and I laid there for a minute trying to decide if I was okay and thanking god I wasn't dead or nothing hurt very bad.

Bruises are already forming on my arms and legs and my neck feels strained.

Dad, who was in teh next room, didn't come to check it out. I knocked stuff off shelves, there were loud crashing noises and nothing.

And I was very passive aggressive about it, I hobbled around checking out the places that hurt. Then tapped on his door and after getting his attention (he really really needs a hearing aid)I told him the loud falling noise he heard was me.

I'm going to be sore tomorrow.

And I'm pissed at Dad because he didn't come ask what was going on, I think partly he didn't hear the crash and just felt the thud as I hit the floor.

I know I should just realize he's not going to get hearing aids and leave it at that but it pisses me off. He freaked me out several times when he was taking me to work. I forget that he has to look at you to really understand what you are saying, so when we were on the interstate I'd start talking and he'd turn his head to face me and not look at the road.

He got hearing aids before and never wore them and when I asked about getting new ones he doesn't want to and plus they are expensive. My dad isn't wealthy but he's far from poor and he can afford hearing aids.

{{Gud}} I'm sorry.

Hey editorial type people, what might a capitalized and underlined N mean in proofing marks? I'm stumped.

{{{askye}}} I am glad you aren't too hurt. Feel better.

Askye, you live in Florida. Having a roach does not mean you're grossy mcgross pants. I'm sorry you fell and I hope the bruising isn't too bad in the morning. As for your dad, obviously he doesn't feel that he's missing enough to make it worth the trouble to wear a hearing aid. That's sad for him, and for you, but until he decides it's worth the trouble (and it could be that they make him feel old, so hard to fight gut emotion), he likely won't wear it, even if you talk him into getting one.

eta: Thanks, Steph. I remember that picture of Raquel! Dang, the woman's good looking.

Askye--when you live alone, get a nice stable step stool.

askye, about the hearing aids...I don't know if this will help you convince your father or not, but one of the things the audiologist discussed with us when I finally convinced my grandmother to go get hearing aids was that one of the effects of diminished hearing over the long term was a loss of processing ability in the brain. In other words, hearing aids could make the sounds louder, but she might not (and in fact didn't) regain the ability to understand them. In her case, this took the form of a problem with selectivity. If several people were talking at once, or the TV was on in the background, all the voices turned into those "wah-wah" sounds they used for adult characters in the Charlie Brown cartoons. In hindsight, she should have gotten the hearing aids 10 years earlier. Even 5 years earlier might have made a difference.

My point is that it is worthwhile to keep trying to get your Dad to use his hearing aids, if only to maintain what hearing and comprehension he currently has.

Deena, have you googled for proofing marks? I can't find my cheat sheet, or I'd look it up for you.

Sigh. I used to know them.

Gah. Have I mentioned at all how completely terror-filled I am at even the thought of anything happening to my kid? I managed to have a night of anxiety insomnia two days ago, where I didn't go to bed until *Paul was up to go to work* on account of a sudden terror of SIDS. Seriously. After her 5am feed, I had to have him go and get her ready to go back down in the other room so that I could fall asleep.

Does it get better? I mean, it's just... well, frankly, I didn't know it was possible to love something or someone this much, and it's scary and shit.