Take him something that makes a noise when you squeeze it. Nothing too loud, but something that makes a quiet humorous noise that he can listen to when he's bored.

We (the office, collectively) are getting him this. Seriously. His daughter assures me that he'll crack up at it.

I shouldn't have to feel like this.

You absolutely shouldn't. And this guy wonders why you would move on? Oy. He sucks.

ION, I have no cleavage, and not even a corset could create the illusion of cleavage. I will not be carrying any pencils around.

Fay, ugh on the asshat boss. Hope you're able to finish up and getoutgetoutgetout relatively unscathed.

Oh, Fay! What horrible treatment! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I too hope you can get out quickly and relatively unscathed.

His daughter assures me that he'll crack up at it.

That is fekkin hillarious

We (the office, collectively) are getting him this. Seriously. His daughter assures me that he'll crack up at it.

I love it! Oh, the adorable knife and fork! Hey, you can write him up as a special medical feature in your journal.

Good lord, Fay. It sounds like if anyone should be getting all broken contracty about the situation it's you. I hope that things go more smoothly next year, with your nifty new school.

Stephani, your hosts were jerks.

Congrats, vw! And I like the pen symbolism. (I don't think I've ever held on to a pen long enough for it to run out of ink--I shed them like my old cat used to shed fur.)

Egad, Fay. Good luck over the last few weeks of the contract.

I have boobs!!

Mine haven't been perky since....

...

...

I don't know that they were EVER perky. This is kind of sad making. Craxy thing? My mom got her reduced a couple of years ago and she informed the doctors that they were to "restore" her boobs - pre-kids, post puberty. Which they did. From something like a J cup to a perfect C cup. Pencils? She laughs at pencils.

She'll be 50 in July.

Sorry about the work stuff, Fay.

Boobie talk is nice, though.