Cordelia ,'Lessons'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Oh Steph! I didn't realize it upset you so much. I'm sorry.
Kara is usually careful with things when she's given a job, and she was badly stressed and needed some focus, which is why I sent her to get it. It's NOT your fault that I didn't think that through.
Honestly, I doubt she even remembers it. So far (knock on wood) I don't think she's screwed up enough to dwell on the bad stuff. When she does, it'll be me she thinks of and not you. I promise.
*I'm* the one with residual trauma over it.
Therein lies the irony, right?
I need to see vw and Cindy soon! And have Emily demonstrate the healing power of lemon!
I need the lemon demonstration (that's fun to say "lemon demonstration" or maybe I could call it a "lemonation"), too. We are into Little League season right now, and don't have Julia's team schedule yet (two games a week, for each kid, thankfully Chris is still too young to play), but we do need meetage.
I also just refuse to give a shit about what people think about crying. Not giving a shit about it releases bitterness proteins from my brain.
I hate crying in front of other people. HATE. I figure it makes them think I'm a great big baby, or something.I know. Me, too. A lot of this is the bluster I adopt, so that I don't let crying stop me, if I need to say something. I'm faking it 'til I make it. It's as much of an "I refuse to let caring about crying stop me" attitude in truth, as anything else.
I cry when I am angry, and sometimes when I am anxious. Now, I'll just tell people, "Look, ignore the crying. It won't go away, so I'm just going to talk through it."
I did that at a Christian Ed. meeting at church, just a couple of weeks ago. Two of the men there (who are otherwise good people) were in the interruptingest moods I've ever seen. I was in the middle of presenting a proposal. Someone had a question for me. I started to answer it, and these two men just took over (and they had not been involved in the proposal--it was my baby) and started answering the question, and they were answering it wrong.
I tried to catch their eye. The chairwoman tried to catch their eye. I tried to gently break in. Another woman tried to gently break in on my behalf. Finally, I just talked over them. Doing so, made me really anxious (one was one of the ministers at the church), but I was also angry, because I felt like a sexual politics thing--that they wouldn't have continued to talk over a man in quite the same way. So I put my assertive hat, and stompy boots on, and said, "Look, I have some anxiety issues, so ignore the tears and they'll go away," and just talked right through the crying.
I don't have bigass interrupting a presentation issues, so I don't care if they thought I was a big baby.
I am aspiring to curmudgeonhood, and am right on schedule. By the time I'm outta motherhood and into cronedom, I'm going to be 'Ouisa from Steel Magnolias, and just as crazy, too.
Oh Steph! I didn't realize it upset you so much. I'm sorry.
I was just upset that *I* made *her* upset, if that makes sense.
Kara is usually careful with things when she's given a job, and she was badly stressed and needed some focus, which is why I sent her to get it. It's NOT your fault that I didn't think that through.
I just didn't know that she was on a Mommy-Approved mission, and since I had been playing with my digital camera with her earlier, I figured she had hatched a plan in her overlord brain (face it, the girl is crafty!), and so I wanted to protect the technology.
Good intentions all around, I think, but given the high level of chaos and distraction in the place, imperfect communication. (And I've been called oversensitive by many a person, so my reaction was totally in character, really.)
I just found out that someone I really liked was injured in Iraq. In the same attack, some kid I don't know at all died. I'm sorry but it is so fucking unfair! First of all, I would never wish death on the guy I really liked, but why does some young kid, who 6 months ago was probably sitting around his parents house have to die for such a stupid pointless war. One guy lived and the other one died because of the side of the vehicle they were sitting in when they were hit. Just when I manage to get the "death and disfiguring injury" part of war out of my head, and focus just on how much I miss Joe, it all comes back to me.
Anyway, I don't need any punctuation - the prayers all belong with the families of the dead and injured men. I just needed to vent about how angry this all makes me. BTW, if you want to read more details and a fairly well written newspaper article about the attack, it's all here. [link]
Oh, and I also fall into the category of HATE crying in front of people. It always makes me feel so stupid. Thankfully, the Army made me very strong in this regard - it now takes an awful lot to bring the tears in public (unless I'm happy).
(that's fun to say "lemon demonstration" or maybe I could call it a "lemonation")
Perhaps... lemonstration? (Tom and I play this game all the time)
OK, going home. Won't probably be on the computer though. Thanks for everything today- it really helped and I needed it lots.
I do it too easily, but I have frequently used Deena's technique of telling myself I can flip out later, if I need/ want to. Which has only happened a few times.
Have a good trip home, Nora.
Timelies, all!
Nora, I hope you're feeling better, Steph less traumatized.
Here's something that might make you smile: where the buffalo roam - Baltimore (County). (a slideshow of the big bison round-up ... on the tennis court)