Oh, good idea. I have no minions, but I can go at lunch. (I went upstairs to get the Advil, and walking turns out to be much less painful than sitting.)

Downward dog would feel great if I thought I could actually get into it.

x-posted with my LJ:

No iPod this semester...

I'm sitting here in tears, but it just hit me what I've done.

I'm not at school today. I justified it because I have a migraine...but I'm pretty sure I have the migraine because I'm terrified of being triggered in my Mountain Tales class today. And, unlike the other classes I've missed this semester, I didn't even try today. Usually I called someone for justification. Today I thought maybe I could just squeeze it by without anyone noticing (easy since Emily is out of town). But, I know. I can't lie and take the iPod.

Don't get me wrong...I don't feel well...I think that quite possibly this is not a good class for me. But, it's too late to withdraw, so I need to finish it. I need to be there and deal with the consequences outside of class...in therapy...with friends and family...etc.

The good thing...as long as I don't let this totally get me down...I still will have done better this semester than I have done ever. And I've tried really damn hard.

But, right now? I'm kicking myself. And hard.

Happy Birthday, Owen!

Nora, that's exciting. All fingers crossed for you and Tom.

I've been to the airport and back already this morning. I feel this deserves something like a nap. Sara does not seem to agree.

Back~ma, Jessica.

ETA: {{{{vw}}}} You've done so well this semester. Don't beat yourself up. Maybe Mountain Tales wasn't a good class for you (although I'm not clear on the issues around the possible trigger) but you're trying really hard every day. Much punctuation, hon.

Happy Birthday, Owen!

{{{vw}}}

Would it be possible to give yourself some other reward if you finish out the rest of the semester without missing a class? Maybe a bookstore splurge of a certain amount of $$? (That's how I reward myself, except when I do it by letting myself enter an extra writing contest, though I know the latter makes me a freak.) That way you'll still have that motivation to aim for.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OWEN!!

{{vw}} We had a deal - no beating yourself up. You don't feel well - that is the bottom line.

Would it be possible to give yourself some other reward if you finish out the rest of the semester without missing a class? Maybe a bookstore splurge of a certain amount of $$? (That's how I reward myself, except when I do it by letting myself enter an extra writing contest, though I know the latter makes me a freak.) That way you'll still have that motivation to aim for.

vw, I was just going to suggest the same thing. Perhaps the iPd can be for next semester, but you should still have something to show for the good stuff you did this semester. I'm really sorry this class has been a trigger for you. Argh.

I also agree that if you don't feel you deserve the iPod, you deserve some sort of semi-big reward.

Like a mini iPod. :)

vw, my opinion on you staying home today is that it is most definitely NOT iPod-forfeitting behavior. You didn't skip class to go shopping, or watch re-runs of "Good Times," or to drink all afternoon. (All of which I did in college, and have no justification whatsoever.)

(1) You have a MIGRAINE. It doesn't matter what the trigger was -- it's still really hard to function with a migraine. In my eyes, that's a legit reason to stay home. (2) Hmmm, this class session might bring up some stuff that would be a mental and emotional train wreck -- again, in my eyes, that's a legit reason to stay home. Going to a class that might bring on a panic attack, or land you in the hospital is NOT a good idea. Staying home IS the good idea.

I reiterate: I don't think staying home disqualifies you for the Perfect Attendance iPod. Not at all. You didn't count your previous sick days when you were physically ill, right? Going to class could have made you sicker, so you stayed home. Well, the way I see it, going to Mountain Tales today could very well have impacted your mental health in a very negative way. This is no different than staying home with the flu.

You've worked SO HARD to get to a good place, mental health-wise, and part of that is knowing how to avoid things that might be bad for you -- like this class. I think that alone deserves a solid-gold blinged-out iPod.

Oh, good idea. I have no minions, but I can go at lunch. (I went upstairs to get the Advil, and walking turns out to be much less painful than sitting.)

Downward dog would feel great if I thought I could actually get into it.

Maybe after the Advil, and going to CVS at lunch, your back might be loose enough to try it.

My dad thinks I should just get dressed and go...even though I missed one class. But I don't have the work done and...and...I don't know what to do. I feel like a complete failure.

I think your dad is right, vw. I think you'll feel better about yourself for having gone, and even if you're not prepared, you'll get something out of being in class--useful info for the next assignment/exam, etc.

And you are NOT a failure.