Brenda, I could use the super Seekrit instructions, since I will need to set up my Tivo again soon.

Also, hi all!

I think the coolest bit of public behavior-management parenting I ever saw was once, in Target, when a little kid just had a full-on, fists-against-the-floor meltdown in the middle of one of the aisles, for reasons I couldn't possibly ascertain. Nothing Mom could have said would have stopped that. As soon as it was clear that the child couldn't be placated, Mom just left her cart right where it was, still full of the stuff she intended to buy, picked up said kid, and headed for the nearest exit.

This. This is what my mom would have done. And did with any of us.

It worked.

I am madly in love with Jessica. That is all.

psst I would like to hear more about the brain implants.

Mom just left her cart right where it was, still full of the stuff she intended to buy, picked up said kid, and headed for the nearest exit.

I have never seen a parent do this, though I've heard thousands of "If you don't shut up we're leaving" threats. (Possibly gratuitous Mormon ranting) I can't imagine how the girl-women I see around here who have three small kids before they're twenty-five cope with those children's needs. The moms are barely grown-up themselves, and they're trying to have children, tend a marriage, keep the household going, and maybe maybe look to their own education.

No wonder they say they'll get their rewards in Heaven, it'll be the only time they get any sleep.

I have never seen a parent do this, though I've heard thousands of "If you don't shut up we're leaving" threats.

My mom never threatened; she promised. If we acted up, she delivered us to the car, and home.

there were a couple of leaveing incidents in my childhood

I've done it. I always felt so sorry for StE. StY was ADHD, and he was wired wide open, all the time, until he crashed, which he did, hard. I yammered at him constantly. Because he had no internal governor, I had to be that for him. And because it took him a very long time to link cause and effect, he was forever having it demonstrated.

Meanwhile, StE, standing right there, getting the byblow of all this, did his utmost to be a perfect kid, and got a small proportion of my attention. His achievements didn't get the enthusiastic response we should have given them, because a) we couldn't focus on him long enough, and b) the underachiever would have felt even worse if we'd made a big deal over the overachiever.

And of course it didn't matter if StE behaved perfectly, if StY had a meltdown in the grocery store, StE got punished for it by not getting to go to McDonald's, after. Parents cannot win. Neither can "the good child."

True story: My mother thought my dad was a bit of a child and not very responsible. So, she never let me out of the house with him. One day, dad wants to go to Sears or some department store, and tells mom he won't be long and can't possibly lose me. She let him take me, and about 30 minutes in I tell him I'm tired and need to go home and take a nap. He kept dithering and when he looked around I was gone. He spent the next several hours with mall security and the store clerks looking for me because he couldn't go home and tell mom he'd lost me. Turned out, I meant the thing about the nap and crawled into a bathroom display cabinet and was sleeping like the baby I was. My parents never left me anywhere after that.

Went to my new HMO doc today, who is in practice with his dad (the nurse told me he was a really good doctor, but she'd worked for his father for 20 years and it's really odd being impressed by someone she remembers as a 12-year-old). Nice, smart guy and I am happy to report that he said using Ambien 3 or 4 nights a week was fine. I asked him about it by saying "I really LOVE this drug, and come from a family of recovered alcoholics. Should that worry me?" He said the problem with Ambien is not addiction so much as dependence--that if you use it every night, it stops working and you need more and more. If you take breaks every other night, a dependence doesn't build up. So that's a weight lifted.

I've heard that the getting to sleep drugs are not nearly as much of a problem as the getting (and staying) awake drugs- as far as addiction.