But I don't praise him for managing to get dressed in the morning or doing his homework. That's expected.

As an old boss of mine used to put it, you don't get praise for just doing your job.

He knows what expected behavior is for him, and gets hauled up when his behavior is poor. And that includes being whiny or complaining.

Emmett is very loved and he knows it. There's no bad in that.

And there we have the heart of the problem - I think too many people believe (or behave as if they do) that these two statements are mutually exclusive. When in fact they're sides of the same coin.

I think the coolest bit of public behavior-management parenting I ever saw was once, in Target, when a little kid just had a full-on, fists-against-the-floor meltdown in the middle of one of the aisles, for reasons I couldn't possibly ascertain. Nothing Mom could have said would have stopped that. As soon as it was clear that the child couldn't be placated, Mom just left her cart right where it was, still full of the stuff she intended to buy, picked up said kid, and headed for the nearest exit.

With the very wee ones (say 6 months and under), current consensus seems to be that it's impossible to spoil them, and that cuddling and comfort actually give them confidence and make them cry less. With Annabel, I basically cuddle her as much as I feel like, but when she squirms to get down, I put her down. When she falls, I always look at her and ask her if she's OK, but as long as she doesn't make a fuss, I don't either. If she cries after falling, I pick her up, cuddle her, and assess for damage, but once she's calm I set her down again, because I don't want to make it a bigger deal than it needs to be. I figure the best way to keep her confident and eager to explore is not to make a production about the stumbles along the way.

I figure the best way to keep her confident and eager to explore is not to make a production about the stumbles along the way.

I definitely tend toward the Dad-ish "walk it off" attitude. The truth is that little kids want their boo boos acknowledged (which I always do with a script like: "Oh no! I know that hurts. Let me see that. Okay, it doesn't look broken. You want to keep playing?"). But I think making a fuss can be problematic.

At the practice where Emmett broke his nose, one of the other players (a good athelete too) took a grounder off his wrist and started to get all lip trembly. It didn't bruise at all or scratch him or cut him. I'm sure it hurt for a second, but I could tell he was waiting for more fuss than I was willing to give him. But I steered him back to "You think you can still play?" pretty quickly and he was fine. By 8 y.o. I expect kids to deal with boo boos.

t /heartless coach

cringes

DVRs. Thinking of getting one. Doesn't have to be DVD-burning-capable. (I like the frilly extra bits on boxed sets, so would buy programs I want to own...eventually.)

However, because Alfredo and I are INCREDIBLE geeks, we forget to watch shows we want to see constantly.

So: suggestions? Is TiVO the way to go?

Additional addendum of trouble: we own no land line. Why should we, our cel phones are on a family plan, 99% of my phone calls are to him, and no matter how far we are, they're always free. The TiVO specs suggest a land line is absolutely imperative for the very first hookup call.

Which would make them Not Such A Good Option.

Is TiVO the way to go?

I love mine. We've got it hooked up through our DSL instead of the landline though. So, if you're already got DSL for your computers I think you're set. I'm sure they've got a workaround for those folks who've switched to all-cell all the time.

However, because Alfredo and I are INCREDIBLE geeks, we forget to watch shows we want to see constantly.

This will never happen again when you get the TiVo. It makes the TV schedule your bitch. OTOH, you become Tivo's adoring fanboy. Kind of a tradeoff.

StuntHusband, does your cable operator offer DVR's in their services? Although I admire Tivo (it's intuitive!) but I am currently using Tifaux (someone here coined this term, I think) from Time Warner and it's really a good compromise.

We get digital cable, and we can record shows, and program recording options that will record all new episodes, all episodes, etc. with the touch of a button.

Sure, it doesn't search out and find things I might like but I decided against the initial bigger investment of buying a Tivo and subscribing. Mine's all done with rental and no long term committment.

t delusional I can quit any time I want to t /delusional

So: suggestions? Is TiVO the way to go?

Why did I think you & Alfredo already *owned* a TiVO?

(Er, and I meant to post this in the Tech room, but I'm still recovering from a small cold that did 2 things: gave me a gravelly voice, and made me VERY SPACY IN DA BRAIN.)

Anyway: we have cable, no DSL - DSL implies phone line somewhere. And yeah, perusing the TiVO website a bit more has info for Guided Setup for Folk Without Phones (i.e. walk to someone's house who has a phone.)

Once Setup is done, it wuuuuuvs broadband. And our broadband is tres magnifique. Of course: He works for Microsoft, I work for Nintendo, we both play online games constantly. Without strong broadband, we'd both snap ("ka-PING!") and blood would flow in the streets like today's rain.

Yep. Too much caffiene before work.