My standard morning routine involves checking e-mail, getting up to date on four or five sites, watching an "hour" of TV, a long shower, and breakfast.

This is me, except the first stop is the espresso machine. (Easier and faster than regular coffee, surprisingly enough). And substitute dog walk for breakfast.

My standard morning routine: hit the snooze button for a good 45 minutes. Lay in bed with cat for 15. Bathroom duties. Dress/hair/makeup. Put pre-made lunch and breakfast in bag. Go to work. I have no extraneous time for anything else.

There's a 6 am??? Or is that just another word for fuck-o-clock-in-the-morning?

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Loves me some Jessica.

I find myself clutching the alarm clock, eyes swollen, hair askew, and frantically saying, "I CAN'T READ!!!"

Loves me some shrift, too.

Give us your address so we can come over.

No. Of course, some of you already have my address, so now I have to move. Thanks a bunch, ita.

I've also demanded at the top of my lungs why the sun hasn't come up yet.

Lack of morning compatibility runs in the family. My sister will call me and demand, "AM OR PM?!" My brother, however, isn't capable of speech when he wakes up.

Which reminds me of the time I woke up and actually couldn't speak. I tried, and it came out gibberish. Like I'd suffered a stroke. Ah, that was such a pleasant morning...

My standard routine: Lie in bed until I have enough energy to get up (varies from 5 to 20 minutes). Bathroom duties. Email. Clothes. If it's my turn, I dole out the morning vitamin/herbal supplement set. I gather breakfast and either drive to work or get dropped at the train station.

the time I woke up and actually couldn't speak

I'm more likely to wake up and have already spoken.

As in, when my brain snaps to, I ask "Wait -- who am I talking to?" "Daniel!" "It's the middle of the night here." "I know." "You can't afford to call me." "It's collect. You accepted the charges. We've been talking for five minutes." "Huh. I gotta go."

Hey, I just got linked to a new time suck, The Hedgehog game: [link]

I'm more likely to wake up and have already spoken.

Oh, I often have conversations I don't remember. "What are you talking about?" "I told you this morning." "No, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "Totally didn't." "Yes, I did! I said, 'I'm going to the doctor's office. If S. calls get her number and I'll call her back when I get home.' And you said, 'Okay. What time's your appointment?' And I said --" "Huh." "You don't remember any of this, do you?" "Did my blank stare give me away?"

Must run to buy comics.

Go Novachild!! How very cool!

My mom had the hideous habit of coming into my room and telling me all the things I needed to do for the day. I'd respond in grunts. And wake up later knowing I was supposed to do something, but with no recollection of what. No matter how many times I told her she should just leave a note because otherwise it wouldn't get done, she persisted. It never worked. Not even when I managed to growl out "write it down." She shows signs of having learned these days, but since I'm rarely in that situation anymore, I can't be sure.

It turns out she's as slow and unfriendly as I am when she wakes up. The difference is, she likes being up in the morning and is productive once she works through the morning stupids, so she gets up at 5.

My dad is unbearably chipper and LOUD (man cannot make coffee without it sounding like the stove is collapsing) but usually gets up shortly after mom. And she can ignore him, after 37 years of marriage practice.