Years ago, I made some snarky comment about porn theatres to my soon to be husband (long since ex). He retorted that one could not have an educated opinion without experience. I agreed.
Off we went to the (no kidding) Bijou to see the "theatrical" release of a movie called Champagne...wait for why I've never forgotten the name, god help me 26 years later...
Imagine the Bijou like some seedy, B grade noir of a porn theatre. Guys in literal (rather than existential) raincoats...leering at the only present, much less just barely legal, woman. Sticky floor, stickier seats....
Roughly 10 minutes into the main event...no pun--oh who am I kidding--I hear a painfully familiar sound. I looked at my beloved and then whip-glanced around to realize that all the creepies have gotten up simultaneously and moved 3 or 4 seats closer, leering even more loudly.
Yup. My hero. Stone asleep. And that drool had nothing to do with the action on the screen. Right before I ended up with a pearly lake at my feet, the angels saved me by breaking the film and turning up the halogen house lights. The creepies scattered like roaches...a couple of them even yelped as they caught themselves in too-hastily hoisted zippers.
That particular bit of vindication still doesn't seem quite worth the year it took off my life in fright.
::jeepers, hope I didn't kill the thread...::
I won't go to the movies with a co worker/friend after we went to see Batman Begins. He fell asleep and started snoring. Loudly. He got upset everytime I nudged and claimed not to be asleep. Eyes closed. loud snoring. So very asleep.
You work with/know my DH??? Yeah, not only will I not go to movies with him any more, I won't go to live performances (plays or musicals) with him either. Embarassed way too many times.
I fell asleep on my ex during The Cider House Rules. At that point he had reached acceptance about my snoring and apparently the other 2 people in the theater were so far away it didn't bother them.
Also fell asleep halfway through my 6th viewing of Pulp Fiction, though in my defense friends dragged me in after I'd told them I was worn out and had seen the damn thing often enough to quote dialogue verbatim. Much less trouble with the sound being heard over shouts, gunshots, and gimp bringing-out.
I fell asleep during
Constantine.
I don't have any desire to rent it and see how it turned out so I guess it wasn't that bad an idea. I don't think I snored since the people I went with didn't notice.
I fell asleep the second time I saw
The Two Towers--
I was already sleepy, and I knew that if I actually watched the battle and the caves with the big-eyed kids and the little boy with his too-big armor I'd get too overwrought and end up with nightmares, so as everyone was suiting up I slithered to the back of the theater (one of those big ones with couches) and slept until it was all over. I don't feel at all guilty about it, either, except for the drooling.
I fall asleep damn near every time I see something at Film Forum, completely irrespective of the movie being shown. My theory is that the seats are so uncomfortable that my body simply shuts down in disgust. Which is a shame, because I've missed the middle third of some very good films because of it.
