Crumpets don't really get as crisp as English Muffins. And they're riddled with little air pockety holes which absorbs scads of butter and jam.

So texture-wise, are they about halfway between an English Muffin and a scone, or are scones a whole different texture completely?

Crumpets have their own texture - I'm not sure what to compare them to.

Scones are a different beast. Much denser.

Angel star David Boreanaz will play a ghost writer—or, rather, a writer who's a ghost—opposite Alan Cumming in Suffering Man's Charity, an independent dark comedy that Cumming will also direct, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Boreanaz, who currently stars in Fox's Bones, will play a struggling writer who is accidentally killed by Cumming one evening. Cumming discovers the writer's novel and ends up taking credit for penning it. When it becomes a success, the writer comes back to haunt him.

Suffering Man's Charity also stars Anne Heche, Henry Thomas and Carrie Fisher. Also in the cast are Karen Black and Jane Lynch.

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Wow.

Also, Witchblade feature films.

Boreanaz, who currently stars in Fox's Bones, will play a struggling writer who is accidentally killed by Cumming one evening. Cumming discovers the writer's novel and ends up taking credit for penning it. When it becomes a success, the writer comes back to haunt him

Not having read the script, I'd say they've got the casting backwards.

That is a lot o' hottie and such a range too. If Alan Cumming and David Boreanaz end up doing that Whoopie/Swayze mergy thing I may spontaneously boreanaz.

I'm still not entirely sure what a chiffarobe

A chifferobe is half wardrobe, half bureau (or chest of drawers). Here's one:

[link]

If Alan Cumming and David Boreanaz end up doing that Whoopie/Swayze mergy thing I may spontaneously boreanaz

NO LIE! I am thrilled at this prospect.

Crumpets and english muffins are quite different.

Crumpets are made from a batter and cooked on a griddle, like pancakes (but in ring-molds) and are (at least sometimes) baking-powder raised.

English muffins are yeast-raised and baked in an oven. You over-knead the dough to get the big holes.

Both are best toasted with lots of butter. And now I want some of both.

A chifferobe is half wardrobe, half bureau (or chest of drawers).

To add some more regional spice to word-choices, my stepmother from Maine used to call a bureau a "chesterdraw" -- "chest of drawers" as said downeast.