And to think, Joel Hodgson could be making millions right now by getting hired by the studios to salvage movies like this.
You want to meet the real me now?
Mal ,'War Stories'
Buffista Movies 4: Straight to Video
A place to talk about movies--old and new, good and bad, high art and high cheese. It's the place to place your kittens on the award winners, gossip about upcoming fims and discuss DVD releases and extras. Spoiler policy: White font all plot-related discussion until a movie's been in wide release two weeks, and keep the major HSQ in white font until two weeks after the video/DVD release.
Tom Scola - Dec 02, 2005 12:13:20 pm PST #8863 of 10002
Remember that the frontier of the Rebellion is everywhere. And even the smallest act of insurrection pushes our lines forward.
DavidS - Dec 02, 2005 12:39:02 pm PST #8864 of 10002
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
These were my favorite Chuckisms:
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women. [note: Why does this make me think of Shrift?]
MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
Steph L. - Dec 02, 2005 1:26:46 pm PST #8865 of 10002
I look more rad than Lutheranism
This one is a modern fairytale:
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Jars - Dec 02, 2005 3:34:22 pm PST #8866 of 10002
Every single person I have ever met is now in receipt of the facts. Oh dear God.
Trudy Booth - Dec 02, 2005 5:48:52 pm PST #8867 of 10002
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart
Chuck Norris forced me to change my tag line. And I thanked him for declining to roundhouse kick me in the head.
§ ita § - Dec 02, 2005 7:04:09 pm PST #8868 of 10002
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
That whole thing is a tagline waiting to happen.
bon bon - Dec 03, 2005 8:42:34 am PST #8869 of 10002
It's five thousand for kissing, ten thousand for snuggling... End of list.
By the time I got to
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
I emailed it to everyone I know who likes funny things.
Jessica - Dec 03, 2005 9:47:25 am PST #8870 of 10002
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset
Aeon Flux is unspeakably bad. That is all.
tommyrot - Dec 03, 2005 9:49:22 am PST #8871 of 10002
Sir, it's not an offence to let your cat eat your bacon. Okay? And we don't arrest cats, I'm very sorry.
One review said that it might be fun for people who like bad movies, and for people who are capable of checking their brain at the door. I was thinking of seeing it on a matinee.
Jessica - Dec 03, 2005 9:55:44 am PST #8872 of 10002
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset
Oh I wish, because I love bad movies. Bad sci-fi especially. This one is not so-bad-its-good. It's just bad. The script is bad. The plot is bad. Even the action scenes are bad. The costumes and production design are okay, if you've never seen Logan's Run.
There are three pages of expositional text before the opening credits. Then there is another ten minutes of voice-over narration with more exposition -- the kind that only gets added after the studio has recut the film so many times that adding voiceover narration at the beginning is the only way they can remember what movie they're recutting.
It's baaaaaaaaaaad.